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If your parents are experiencing severe health issues or cannot live alone, you might be looking into senior living facilities or communities. If you decide to live with them to monitor their care better, you’re not alone, as approximately 29% of family caregivers report that their care recipients live with them. While that’s fine if you’re living in your own home, is it possible to live with a parent in a senior apartment?
You can live with a parent in some senior apartments, which allow live-in caregivers. It’s even easier to move in with your parent if you are above the age restriction defined by these communities, such as if you’re above the age of 55 and want to move into a 55+ community.
In this article, I’ll explore what you need to know about living with your parent in a senior apartment and things to consider before signing your parent up for one. I’ll also explain how the rules between different senior apartment complexes can differ, highlighting the importance of researching before deciding on a living situation for your parent.
Why You Can Usually Live With a Parent in Senior Apartments
Every senior apartment building or community has its own rules regarding whether or not adult children of the residents, or younger residents in general, are allowed to live there. Generally, the rule states that no one under 62 is allowed to live in a 62+ community.
When it comes to 55+ communities, the rules are not as strict.
However, property managers are allowed to set their own rules, so they can state that no person under the age of 55 is allowed. Or, they might allow people of younger ages to live there, temporarily or permanently. Generally, communities don’t allow children under the age of 18 to live there permanently.
Whether you’re looking for a senior community or a senior apartment for your parent, it’s important to note that both of these housing options usually also restrict their residents to being 55+ or 62+ years of age.
That said, there can be different rules depending on the facility in question, so it’s advisable to ask questions and find out the living conditions to provide your parent with the best care.
What Is the 80/20 Rule?
The 80/20 rule means that if 80% of the senior living community comprises people 55 years and older, the remaining 20% of its residents can be younger. This rule originates from the Fair Housing Act, which ensures that at least 80% of units in the community need to be occupied by at least one person who’s 55 years or older.
Generally, senior living communities follow the rule that at least one person in the household has to be older than 55. There is usually an age restriction for other members in the household, whether they’re a child or spouse. But, you may want to check with the facility if you have children, as you might not be able to live with your parent and have your children live there too.
Usually, the age limit for one’s spouse is 40 and 18 for a child. When it comes to children, such as in the case of a senior’s grandchildren, there are usually rules in place that determine how long the children are allowed to stay in the apartment.
Some senior living complexes or communities allow seniors to live with a limited number of family members, with a healthy ratio also being 80:20, as Senior Strong reports. Therefore, the landlord could prevent a senior from living in the community of their choice if they don’t consider this ratio and want to bring their entire family to live with them.
Although the 80/20 rule is in place, it’s important to realize that senior living communities aren’t required to let younger residents live in them if this 80% requirement has been met.
This is why it’s essential to ask the staff at the senior apartment complex about this so that you can find out what you need to know and if any opportunities are available for you to live with your senior parent.
Living With a Parent in a Senior Apartment: Pros and Cons
If you’ve been given the green light to live with your parent in a senior apartment, it’s important to consider how much both of your lives will change. There will be adjustments to be made, such as when it comes to taking care of your parent and having your own life at the same time.
You should be aware of some advantages and potential drawbacks before you move into a senior apartment with your parent.
Pros
- There’s 24-hour security. One of the biggest concerns you might have when living with your parent is that they could be a crime target when you aren’t around. However, you won’t need to worry about this in a senior apartment complex because there will be security measures in place at all times in the form of 24-hour security systems and personnel.
- You have professional help at hand. Although you might want to help your senior parent with various tasks, there might be some that you cannot do, such as picking them up if they fall or bathing them. Therefore, a senior apartment with on-site staff can help you and your parent deal with difficult situations by providing experienced assistance.
- You can focus on your relationship with your parent. One of the biggest benefits of moving into a senior apartment with your parent is bonding with them without having to be a full-time caregiver. This ensures you can share positive experiences so that your time together is more meaningful.
- You can relieve some stress. Caring for a senior parent isn’t always easy and can be stressful. You must deal with various stressors, such as financial and emotional stress, as well as the stress placed on your time and energy levels. Therefore, moving into a senior apartment that offers amenities and assistance will reduce some of your stress, which can help both you and your aging parent.
- Senior apartments provide a range of amenities. There are great amenities available to residents of senior apartments, such as physical therapists that visit them in their homes and exercise classes to keep seniors active. Other facilities, such as pharmacies, could be available so they can easily pick up their medication.
- They can help your parent maintain a positive attitude. With other amenities available in the apartment complex, such as game rooms, salons, barber shops, and swimming pools, a senior apartment can help your parent feel at home and optimistic about life. Your parent will have company as you’ll be living with them, and they will meet other seniors living close to them.
- Your parent will have reduced living expenses. Staying at a senior apartment with your parent will cut your parent’s daily expenses, as most of these apartments are cheaper than traditional apartments and retirement homes. Additionally, you can share most of the costs with them, reducing your financial burden.
Cons
- Finding a senior apartment is challenging. If you’re searching for a low-income apartment, you might have to get onto a waitlist, which might take a lot of time to locate the right apartment that offers safety and security.
- A senior apartment might be difficult for your parent to navigate. If your parent struggles to climb stairs or walk around, finding a first-floor apartment is essential, but these could be in limited supply. It’s also important to check that escalators and wheelchair ramps are available all around the complex if your parent requires them.
- Some senior apartments don’t allow pets. The complex might have restrictions if your parent wants to bring their dog or cat to live with them. This could include limitations on the type of pets, their size, or how many pets are allowed per resident.
- Meals are not always provided. Unlike senior living communities that provide meals to residents, this isn’t always the case for senior apartments. That said, the apartment might provide a full kitchen to encourage residents to cook for themselves and stay independent.
- Chores won’t always be handled by staff. Senior living communities help maintain the apartment for your senior parent, which means that all chores are taken care of, such as laundry and housekeeping. However, this isn’t always the case with senior apartments.
- Senior apartments can be costly. The national cost for assisted living is $4,500 per month on average, as Genworth reports. However, there’s a range of housing units on offer that can accommodate low-income seniors and people who would like a luxury apartment.
- You might feel removed from your life. Living in a senior apartment as a younger person might feel strange, especially if you have a busy life and are highly social. You might miss out on connecting with other people your own age. Additionally, you’ll have less privacy and alone time than if you were living by yourself.
Tips for Caring for Your Aging Parent in a Senior Apartment
Senior apartments don’t always provide the required amount of healthcare or other assistance. So, if you’re going to be moving in with your senior parent, it’s essential to ensure that you’ll be able to help them and maintain their health.
Since you’re usually allowed to make some changes to your apartment to make it more senior-friendly, here are some tips to follow and products to purchase so that you’re equipped for the move.
Install Grab Bars in the Bathroom
You can prevent injuries and make your aging parent’s tasks easier by installing a grab bar in the bathroom. I recommend the Budding Joy Shower Handle 2-Pack Grab Bars, which are available on Amazon.com. These bars are made of plastic, so they’re not slippery when wet, and they contain two suction cups to provide a strong, durable experience.
Additionally, this pack contains grab bars that can work on any flat, non-porous surface, such as fiberglass, tile, acrylic, and glass. However, if you need a sturdier and more permanent solution, you can look into programs for lower-income seniors that install these bars for free or at a significantly reduced cost.
Set Up an Uninterrupted Power Supply (UPS)
Accidents can happen when a power failure plunges the senior apartment into complete darkness, or your aging parent might battle to get in touch with you if their cell phone battery is dead. You can prevent such issues from occurring by using a UPS.
I’d recommend the APC UPS Battery Backup and Surge Protector (available on Amazon.com). It has seven outlets and a USB charger port for charging electronics, giving you and your parent peace of mind during a power outage.
Purchase a Wheeled Walker
To help your aging parent be more independent if they have mobility issues, purchasing a wheeled walker for them will be highly beneficial. I’d recommend Drive Medical Deluxe Folding Walker with Wheels from Amazon.com.
It has push buttons for easy access, whether by fingers or palms, as well as a vinyl-contoured hand grip for ease of use. Also, its wheels can easily glide over most floor surfaces.
Install Easy-To-Use Doorknobs
If your parent suffers from a health condition such as arthritis that makes it difficult for them to use their hands, they might struggle to open and close doors. Therefore, consider replacing the apartment’s existing door knobs with new ones.
Better yet, I’d recommend these Able Life EZ Door Knob Grips from Amazon.com. They have a wing-tipped design, so you can cover the existing door knobs with them instead of replacing them. I love that they have glow-in-the-dark inserts and are keyhole accessible.
You can buy homes built specifically for people above 55 years old. They’re usually located in a retirement community protected by neighborhood police officers. Click on the link to learn more about the 55+ communities. Can You Buy 55+ Condos or Homes for Your Parents?
Final Thoughts
If your aging parent needs to move into a senior apartment, you might want to live with them to continue to assist them.
While these housing facilities usually have age restrictions in place to cater specifically to seniors, sometimes they allow the residents’ adult children to live with them as long as they’re 18 years or older.
You must enquire with the staff at the housing facility to find out their requirements.
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