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Helping your aged family members through memory declination or dementia can be mentally taxing. It is crucial to find them assisted living opportunities to help with cognitive engagement and give them all the support they can get. But how do you convince a dementia patient to get this help?
You can convince dementia patients to get assisted living by finding the best facility and allowing them to visit it beforehand. You must also assure them that a care facility will be the best thing for their health. Speak to them in a soft, kind tone, and allow them to voice their concerns.
In this article, I will explain all the steps to convince your aged parents with dementia to opt for assisted living. I will also add some suggestions for safety products for dementia patients. Let us begin!
8 Steps To Convince Dementia Patients To Get Assisted Living
Senior citizens and dementia patients have always had it tough when it comes to receiving support. Thankfully, modern science and medical care have made it possible to seek healthcare professionals who will ease your stress when dealing with a dementia patient at home.
So consulting with them and your family to learn about the proper care for dementia patients has become more accessible. You can utilize this and help dementia patients mentally transition to assisted living and caregivers without stressing about the journey.
Keep in mind that the patient‘s unique personality, emotional acceptance, and stubbornness level will vary, making the journey challenging. Thankfully the following eight tips are all about easing the decision for yourself, your family, and the dementia patient you are helping.
1. Talk to Your Family
Talking to your closest family members can help you make the best decision for your dementia-diagnosed parents or grandparents. It is crucial to integrate their responses to the situation. Whether for assisted living or to hire caregivers, listen to what your folks say.
It might be hard for them to process that their loved one is going through a medically challenging time. And if you are opting for assisted living, you may receive criticism. However, it is crucial to discuss this with family and help them understand that assisted living is not abandoning dementia patients but helping them live within a community with healthcare professionals who are well-versed in caring for patients with memory loss.
Your responsibility is to sit with them, explain the situation, and alleviate the air of uncertainty and worries. Doing so will help you get more people to support you, which will help you break the news to the patient. Moreover, it is an excellent way for the family to work together and find the best solution for the dementia patient at home.
2. Find the Best Assisted Living Facility
The second step is to choose a senior community and facility that helps dementia patients live safely and confidently. These places need the best amenities and professional medical care providers for your aged folk’s needs. They must understand the ailment and be well-equipped with facilities and emergency care.
Here are the features that make a proper and safe assisted living facility:
- They hold a State Certificate to show that they are accredited and licensed to work as a professional facility for aged and dementia patients.
- The employees understand and are well-versed in behavioral care. They are medically trained to be gentle and understanding towards patients in immediate crisis.
- Their calendar has loads of fun group activities for all the patients.
- The facility has an up-to-date and working security system. Examples include emergency push buttons, smoke detectors, CCTV cameras, handrails on all staircases and hallway walls, and bright lights inside all rooms and corridors.
- On-site health and emergency resources are available 24/7.
If needed, you can also take a short tour of the facility by yourself and tick off your necessities. Ask the guide to clear up your questions about their management and healthcare system. It also helps to keep a blueprint of the interiors so you can compare them to other facilities before finalizing one.
3. Create a Script for the Difficult Talk
Before you speak to your dementia patient or anyone about assisted living, understand that the first response will be a hard no. So you need to brace yourself for that impact and prepare a script of notes to stick to when discussing the issue with them.
Also, someone with dementia will not accept their diagnosis because they will likely not remember. So to them, it will be news, and they might perceive it as you wanting them out of your home. Because it is news that takes time to adjust to, you must choose your words carefully when addressing their situation and your solution. Always remember to be confident about your suggestion.
Practice the speech in your room and rehearse your replies to possible retorts so you do not lose your composure. Remember, a dementia patient has every right to refuse your offer. They are not aware of how the ailment affects them. Therefore, you must stay consistent and confident when breaking the news to them.
I’ve also written a full guide on how to convince your elderly parents not to live alone. You’ll find a few ideas on how to get the conversation started. How to Tell an Elderly Parent That They Can’t Live Alone
4. Find the Best Time for the Talk
Choose the most comfortable time to discuss assisted living with the dementia patient at home. I suggest bringing it up during the earlier stages of dementia, as they will process this information better and remember a few details. It also eases the pain for them and you, making the conversation less burdensome.
Telling your loved one that you will send them for assisted living can be a heart-wrenching task. So remember to give yourself sufficient time to initiate the conversation. If your parent has a caregiver, ask for their help to explain the situation and move to the discussion phase ONLY if your loved one has calmed down and is stable.
In my opinion, the best time for this discussion is early in the morning at the breakfast table. You, of course, must ensure that the patient is comfortable and in a good mood. Moreover, their privacy is a priority, so try to have this conversation in the presence of trustworthy family members or one-on-one.
Another thing to remember is to maintain a steady tone and body language. Be as physically supportive with your words as possible. Ensure that you are empathetic to their:
- Shock
- Anger
- Dismay
- Emotional pain
- Breakdown
Keep your tone consistent and soft throughout the conversation. Remember, anger does not resolve anything and will further confuse the dementia patient. They might misunderstand you and feel helpless in their situation. You must make your loved one understand why they might need assisted living facilities.
Finally, be supportive and cooperative during the discussion. Assure the dementia patient that you are there for them no matter what, and stick to your words. While talking, assurance can be made through eye contact, smiling when starting the discussion, or physical touch (pats or holding their hands.) The goal is to help them feel supported through this process and not backed into a corner.
5. Learn To Accept the First “No.”
When asked to get assisted living, the first response from anyone with dementia is hostility. It is hard for them to believe they need such high medical help. One way to calm them down is to recognize their difficulties. Understanding why they are saying no can provide you with more information about their comfort level.
Agree with them that this change will be challenging and will take them a while to adapt. However, reassure them that it is a necessity.
This conversation will be challenging and heart-wrenching, especially with someone facing dementia. To them, it is giving up a lifestyle they grew up with and losing their independence.
Not to forget, dementia makes it harder for senior folks to recollect and reconnect their memories, making it more confusing and scary to accept these suggestions. During such time, talk about the group activities and adventures that the assisted living facility will provide.
You can talk about the perks of assisted living in simpler words and in a softer tone. This will calm them down and clears up their question better than when you respond to them with anger.
When making a list of what you wish to say during the discussion, put yourself in your parent’s shoes for a short time. You will become empathetic to their situation and how they perceive it. Researching how dementia impacts memory can also clear up some behavioral doubts. Ask yourself your reaction if your future or current kid said the same thing to you.
Emulating these scenarios will help you empathize with your parents suffering from dementia and give you a clearer picture. It is a sure-shot way to have a calm, rational, helpful response when your parents deny having dementia and needing help. Let them know they can trust you in these trying and confusing times.
6. Discuss Tools and Gadgets That Help With Dementia
Some gadgets and tools are dementia-friendly and help patients track everything around them. These home safety products help patients with memory loss to go about their days.
During the first levels of dementia, your parents might reject the idea of assisted living. And it is wrong of anyone to force a dementia patient to go into memory care facilities. Therefore, one way to keep them safe is by purchasing dementia-friendly gadgets. There are various types in the market, such as:
Large Digital Clocks
Large digital clocks are noticeable from far away and significantly help people with memory loss. Since dementia patients have a hard time tracking anything, a sizeable digital clock on the wall can help them tell the time, and check the date, and the day. It provides time awareness and also has features to help the vision-impaired.
Products like MASSII 19 Alarms Dementia Clock (available on Amazon.com) have these features and also come with reminder alarms and large icons for patients.
Bed Alarm Systems
Bed alarm systems are a necessity when caring for dementia patients. They notify you when your family member stands, moves, or is near to falling off the bed. You can put it under the mattress and sheets for optimal sensory technology.
Products such as the Lunderg Early Alert Bed Alarm System (available on Amazon.com) come with these technologies and a portable pocket clamp to detect slight movements.
7. Visit the Facility Together
One way to convince your parents with dementia to get assisted living is to take them to a facility offering the same. And since you have already visited once, it helps to guide them through the place’s amenities, such as:
- Security system
- Helpful caregivers
- Activity facilities
- Accepting communities
- Accommodation, food, meal planning, etc.
Let them talk to the professionals there, as it will also introduce them to the environment and atmosphere. It is essential to help your parents adapt and feel comfortable with the assisted living home beforehand, so they do not feel out of place or lonely in a foreign setting.
Not to forget, once your parents interact with the facility’s residents, it might help them form a connection. Interacting with more people is a sure-shot way for elderly people to connect with a community where they feel comfortable. Hence, meeting the residents and interacting with them is an excellent way for you to introduce them to assisted living.
8. Promise To Be There and Keep Your Word
The most crucial part of convincing a dementia patient, especially if they are your parents, is to promise them that you will always be there for them. Many cut contact with family members who have dementia as it is mentally taxing to communicate with someone with little to no recollection.
However, love, kindness, and support can go a long way when caring for a dementia patient. Make sure to visit them as much as possible. Bring their favorite food, snacks, and close people to the assisted care facility. Most importantly, promise to carry on with these tasks as frequently as possible. While they remember it, a promise can assure them that this decision is for their well-being. How Often Should You Visit Parents in Assisted Living?
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