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As our parents’ age, we become more and more aware of their needs, and it can become increasingly frustrating when you want to help your parents, but they refuse to accept any assistance. After all, they view you as their responsibility, not the other way around. So, what can we do in a situation like this?
When elderly parents refuse options like physical therapy, the best approach is to give them agency, introduce them to items that could ease their pain, and eventually approach the topic of additional physical care when necessary.
In the following article, I’ll explain simple ways to do this, which can help not only elderly parents but their frustrated children who want to see to their parent’s well-being.
Don’t Deny Their Agency
This first step is critical. Your parents still view themselves as the adults in the situation. Taking their agency away from them and making decisions for them will result in reluctance, refusal, and arguments that everyone would rather avoid. It’s essential to give them control. They need to feel as if they are still independent and can make decisions about their lives.
You need to ensure that they know you’re recommending ways to improve their day-to-day life, but the decision is entirely theirs. Giving them the ability to care for themselves by making these choices enhances the health and the quality of life of elderly parents, as attested by this study that explores the relationship between well-being and self-care in elderly patients.
Even if they were to accept assistance from you or a caregiver, you could also look into products, such as the wireless CallToU Home Intercom System (available on Amazon.com). This device will help them maintain their agency by going about their daily routine independently while providing a quick and easy method of contacting the caregiver whenever assistance is required.
Understand the Reasons for Their Reluctance
Having open conversations about the way that they’re feeling is necessary for you to understand where the problem lies. Once you know why they’re refusing physical therapy or any help, you’ll be able to address the issue and resolve any concerns they might have.
Often, elderly parents are just scared that receiving support, such as physical therapy, means they must accept that they are getting old. It can be challenging to come to terms with, especially if they were active and healthy in their youth.
Other times, they may feel that additional care options will burden you and refuse your help as they don’t want to inconvenience you. Understanding the root of their refusal will help you understand them. Once you address their concerns, they will be more open to accepting your help.
Connect Them With Others Who Were in a Similar Position
Refusal to accept help is often a result of fear of the unknown. How can your parents be comfortable with a process they are unaware of? If your elderly parents are unsure whether they want to try physical therapy, it will significantly help if they can talk to someone who has been through the process.
If they have friends that have gone through the physical therapy process, help them get in touch with them and encourage them to ask questions. This will help them become familiar with the expectations of physical therapy, and they may feel more at ease. Knowing more information about the process, its benefits, and how it can help them will help resolve their concerns.
You can also turn to online resources. Multiple helpful YouTube videos, such as the one below, take a unique approach to at-home physical therapy.
Consider Alternative Methods To Help
Before firmly deciding that physical therapy is the only way to go, you can also look into alternative methods to ease their pain and improve your parents’ lifestyle. Improving the conditions of your parents’ environment by accommodating their specific needs will help them feel heard and improve their well-being.
Talk to your parents’ doctors and other healthcare providers to see what alternatives they recommend. Additionally, you can make adjustments to their home to help them with everyday tasks.
For example, having assist rail handles around the house for additional support can take some pressure off your parents. To get out of bed, I recommend the Vaunn Medical Assist Rail Handle (available on Amazon.com), which is adjustable to fit their exact preferences and removes the need for assistance. A device like this will help your parents maintain control over their daily routines and still feel strong enough to handle everyday tasks. Do Side Rails Actually Prevent Falls? The Facts Explained
Introduce Them to Different Physical Therapists
Like regular therapists, not every physical therapist can connect with every patient. This is why finding one that works well with your parents is crucial. If your parents don’t feel comfortable and understood by their physical therapist, they will be reluctant to listen and refuse the recommended exercises.
This is why, before deciding on a specific program or therapist, you should introduce your parents to different options. See what programs or therapists resonate with them and let them choose where and with whom they feel the most comfortable. Introduce them to various caregivers and let them spend time with them to see if they can develop trust or comfort.
Making this choice on their terms, with the knowledge they have, will help your parents feel more in control and be more open to the possibilities of physical therapy.
If you want to look more into how you can help your parents, consider watching this TED Talk on ensuring your elderly parents feel safe in their own homes.
Final Remarks
Helping aging parents through their struggles can be demanding and exhausting, so it is perfectly okay if you find yourself requiring help. However, it’s essential to understand that your parents not only have physical needs but personal and emotional ones as well.
Addressing their concerns, helping them maintain control, introducing items to ease their everyday life, and providing the best physical therapy are all ways to help your parents feel heard, secure, and ready for physical therapy.
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