Elderly Parents Want To Leave a Nursing Home? How To Help


It’s not uncommon for elderly parents to want to leave a nursing home. We’re sometimes able to help them change their mind, but other times, we can do little more than simply talk to them and hope for the best. Why do our elderly parents want to leave a nursing home, and what can we do to help?

Elderly parents usually want to leave a nursing home if they’re homesick, anti-social, or even if they have dementia. The best way you can help them is to visit them in the nursing home as often as possible, explain to them why they need to be there, or move them to another care facility. 

Does your parent want to leave a nursing home, and you don’t know what to do? Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’ll write about all the reasons why elderly parents are sometimes eager to leave a nursing home and what you can do about it.

Reasons Our Elderly Parents Want To Leave a Nursing Home

There are many reasons why your elderly parent would want to leave the nursing home they’re living in, but some are more common than others. So, I present some of the most common reasons here. Chances are, your parents belong somewhere on this list.

Some Elderly Parents Are Too Proud

For some elderly parents, living in a nursing home is like serving jail time. Not that it’s necessarily a tough life, but it’s a life filled with shame–they feel like they’re marked as a waste of the society they once helped build. 

So, when you offer them a new chapter of their lives in nursing homes, they simply think you don’t love them, or you’re just ungrateful. Some elderly parents even prefer to live alone instead of being forced to live in a facility. Why Do Elderly People Want to Live Alone? 5 Reasons

They’re Not Getting Along With Everybody at the Nursing Home

Our elderly parents aren’t any different than the rest of us. Imagine if somebody brought you to live away from home, in a place full of strangers and people who are ill in some cases. I’m sure you wouldn’t have a terrific time there either. 

The truth is: some people get along with everybody, while others need to spend time and energy making new friends and acquaintances. 

They Have Dementia

Unfortunately, many older people suffer from dementia, which is precisely why some people choose to send their parents to nursing homes. However, it’s common that those elderly with dementia will often express their wish to go home, even though they have little recollection of it. 

In those cases, there’s nothing you can do, really, because even if you bring them home, they still might find it a strange place. 

What To Do if Your Parents Want To Leave a Nursing Home

Once you know why your elderly parent is unwilling to remain in a nursing home, it’s much easier to deal with that sentiment since you know where the problem is. So, let’s see what you can do to help your parent cope with that issue.

1. Give Them Enough Time To Adjust to New Environment

Change is hard, especially once you enter the “elderly” category. Some people simply need time to adjust to some huge life-changing situations, and nursing homes certainly fall under that category. 

If your elderly parent moved into a nursing home fairly recently and is asking you to get back home, it might be that they only need some time to get to know everyone and get accustomed to the food and staff there. So, just talk to your parent and make a deal that you can discuss other options if they feel the same way in a few weeks.

2. Visit Your Elderly Parents Regularly

Another reason some elderly parents are reluctant to live in a nursing home is that they spend their whole lives around you, and suddenly you don’t visit them as often. Just because they’re in a nursing home now doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be with them whenever you can. 

So, try to visit your parents in their nursing home regularly (and I mean regularly). You should designate a certain time and days when you visit your parents, so it becomes a part of a routine. How Often Should You Visit Parents in Assisted Living?

3. Be Open With Them

We all know that living in a nursing home isn’t grand or desirable. It’s usually strictly necessary, and some parents don’t understand that. So, if your parent wants to leave their nursing home, be open with them and let them know why they need to be there

Common reasons for moving an elderly parent into a nursing home include:

  • You need to focus on your work.
  • Your elderly parent needs constant medical attention.
  • If you travel a lot and can’t be home that much.
  • If your elderly parent needs to make new friends their age.

4. Let Them Know About the Benefits of a Nursing Home

Although nursing homes aren’t the most glamorous places, they still have many benefits that your parent’s home can’t offer. Therefore, make sure that your parents know those benefits since it could sway them to look at nursing homes in another light. Those benefits include:

  • Staff is there to take care of you constantly.
  • You don’t have to worry about food.
  • You can make new friends. 
  • Medical attention.

5. Find Another Option

It might be that nursing homes as care facilities simply don’t suit your parents. In that case, no nursing home will be good for them. However, there are other options you might choose from, such as:

  • Assisted living.
  • Retirement home.
  • In-home care.

If you do opt for in-home care, that means your parents can stay at their home and will be visited by a trained caregiver. In that case, it’s best that you prepare their home for their needs. 

I recommend Medical King’s Bed Assist Rail (available on Amazon.com). This bed rail is completely adjustable, so it’ll be perfect for any bed. Also, it’s sturdy, which will greatly help your parents if they struggle to get out of bed. 

Also, check out NLAAHCE Shower Handlebars (available on Amazon.com). Our elderly parents usually have a tough time getting in and out of a shower, and in most cases, we can’t help them once they’re in there. These handlebars are there to assist you with that. They’re light but strong, so don’t worry about their durability. 

Finally, you should read my guide on the differences between assisted living facilities and old age homes. This way, you’ll be able to convince your elderly parent that they’re still healthy and have a fruitful years ahead of them. Assisted Living Vs Old Age Home: 7 Main Differences

Conclusion

It’s common that our elderly parents don’t feel comfortable in a nursing home, and they want to go back to their homes. However, sometimes it’s necessary for them to be there, and to help them in that regard, make sure to:

  • Talk to them openly about why they need to be there.
  • Visit them as often as you can.
  • Give them time to adjust. 
  • Find another care facility.

tatorchip

Roger L. "Chip" Mitchell is the owner of Growing Gray USA. Having worked with seniors and their families for over a decade as the owner of ComForCare Home Care of Northwest Georgia, Chip is able to share his insights working with aging senior adults and their adult children who are now finding themselves in a new role as caregivers for their parents.

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