This post contains affiliate links.
Most people recognize the challenges of choosing to have a parent in assisted living. However, few people understand the concerns that come with the decision. Even deciding the frequency and length of visits can elicit strong emotions from the parties involved.
How often you visit parents in assisted living depends on their needs and your personal schedule. Once or twice a month might be appropriate for some cases, while others may need much more or much less. However, the critical factor is keeping the weekly or monthly visits consistent.
For parents in assisted living and individuals visiting, a visit can trigger feelings of frustration or sadness. However, it is critical to find ways of overcoming the reluctance and give such parents the support and connections they need. In this article, we provide insight on how you can determine the frequency of visits and how to make the best of that time.
How To Determine Visiting Frequency
Staff at the assisted living facility may suggest you let them handle your parent’s adjustment period. The truth, however, is that you and other family members are your parent’s link to their identity and a constant in their life. Therefore, frequent visits are an excellent way to support your loved one as they adjust.
When your parent first gets into assisted living, you may experience mixed emotions. You may doubt whether you made the right decision and wonder if you could have explored home-based care or other arrangements.
Here are a few pointers to keep your emotions in check:
- Think about yourself first. Your parents need you, but you must take care of yourself before taking care of them. Most likely, you have other obligations in your life that are just as important, such as your spouse, children, and work. It is critical to ensure that spending time with your parents does not cause you to neglect your other needs and relationships.
- Consider what your loved one needs. Some people adapt quickly to their new home and are busy making new friends; they do not need or want daily visits. Discuss with them about visiting if they have the cognitive ability or observe them keenly to get an idea of how often they want you there.
- Separate their needs from wants. Differentiate between what your parents say from what they need or want, especially if they are experiencing cognitive decline. They are likely to forget things quickly; therefore, be careful not to take their words personally.
- Consider how you will feel after they pass away. Think about how you might feel about the frequency of your visits after they are gone. You have found an excellent balance if you are comfortable with the time you spend with them. However, consider increasing your visits if you feel you might have regrets.
How To Make the Most of Your Visit
There is no specific frequency to visit your parent in assisted living. However, there are some things you can do to fully utilize your time with them. These include:
Know Your Parent
Is your parent the social type that makes friends quickly and gets comfortable in new surroundings? Are they the quiet type that takes time to adapt? If they are lonely or finding it challenging to adjust, visit them more frequently since you are likely the only connection to their previous environment.
Find a quiet, comfortable, and relaxing space to make the visit enjoyable. The purpose of the visit is to enjoy time with and focus on your parent. Therefore, pick a place free of distraction, such as a chapel, a porch, or even their room.
Use the opportunity to evaluate their health and well-being. Check how they cope, if they have chronic illnesses and if they need extra help with care due to declining health, cognition, and mobility.
To help with mobility, we recommend this Drive Medical 4-wheel Rollator Walker from Amazon. It is strong, stable, and stylish. It features a comfortable seat, a durable, supportive frame, and a storage pouch under the seat.
Plan and Keep Your Visits Simple
Think about when your loved one has the most energy; is it after a meal or in the morning? Schedule the visits accordingly to maximize your time together and establish the mood for the day.
Having several people during the visit might be fun and bring some activities. Be mindful of your loved one, keep it simple, and do not overwhelm your loved one. Focus on the shared moments as a time of joy.
Bring Familiar Items
Bring items from your parent’s past to help them relive treasured memories. Consider bringing:
- Old photographs
- Home videos
- Their favorite food
- A family pet, if allowed
Memory prompts are especially beneficial for persons with memory loss or dementia. Make the visit a time to recollect past happy memories and avoid rekindling painful events. However, if they wish to discuss something from the past, allow them to reminisce because talking about it might help them put the occurrences in perspective and find closure.
Be Flexible
Your loved one might be engaged in different activities depending on your visit. Be flexible and not overbearing. Consider calling ahead if you must follow a schedule to establish the best time to visit.
Make the visit about your parent and what they may enjoy doing without prejudging. Once you arrive, ask them how they want to spend your time together. Include them in decision-making, be flexible, focus on them and make that bonding time count.
Pay Attention to Your Nonverbal Communication
Sit at eye level, make eye contact with your loved one and let them know you are there for them. Model positivity by being friendly and smiling at the facility staff and residents.
Do not be intimidated by dementia or Alzheimer’s, even when your conversations go round in circles, or you feel sad seeing your loved one in that state. Always remember that it is critical to remain a positive feature in their life even if their responses are not what they used to be.
Now, if you see that your parent(s) aren’t living in ideal conditions when you visit them, you can make a complaint about the assisted living facility. Learn how in my complete guide on the topic. How to Make a Complaint About an Assisted Living Facility
Final Thoughts
Visiting a parent in assisted living and spending quality time with them keeps them young and happy and improves their overall health. Visit them as often as possible, and even if they cannot remember who you are or speak to you, they will feel your love.
Tenuto Properties LLC dba Growing Gray USA is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. We also participate in other affiliate programs which compensate us for referring traffic.