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Watching our parent’s age can be profoundly upsetting, especially as they find it harder to care for themselves. It can start with mild signs, such as increased daily aches and pains or lapses in memory, and you may notice a musky smell emanating from them. This is caused by a breakdown in chemicals in the body and the release of a compound called 2-nonenal.
You can respectfully tell your elderly parents they smell by being empathetic, figuring out if there’s an underlying cause, and improving their accessibility to hygiene products and facilities. It’s better to be kind about it since this often occurs naturally in older people.
In this article, we will look at ways we can tactfully address hygiene or odor problems in elderly parents. That means gentle suggestions and proactive measures you can enact immediately, without humiliating the ones you love.
Be Empathetic
Empathy should always be at the forefront of your mind when speaking to an elderly parent. Getting older comes with many challenges that they are confronted with every day. Remember that they are likely embarrassed, frustrated, and maybe even frightened by the changes they face.
Consider offering solutions without telling them they smell. It can avoid any perceived insults or defensive outbursts while directly dealing with the odor. If you decide that bringing up the change in their hygiene is the best course of action, come at it from a place of concern. Ask them if they have been struggling to use different facilities or if they have been struggling with anything lately.
Some parents may not be willing to discuss the issue. Take special note of their reaction and whether they seem to be avoiding it out of embarrassment or if they seem confused. Keep your tone level and understanding.
Confusion and aggression may be a sign of something more serious going on.
Find the Root Cause
Why has their hygiene worsened? People will rarely stop caring for themselves without a good reason. Finding the root cause will offer a roadmap to solutions while pointing out potential conditions your elderly parent may be facing.
Some of these causes may include:
- Depression
- Lack of accessibility to hygiene spaces
- Decreased mobility
- Incontinence
- Dementia
I’ve written a specific guide for parents suffering from dementia. Read it to learn how to tell your dementia parent they need to wash. How to Persuade Someone With Dementia to Wash
Improve Accessibility
If your parent hasn’t been showering, it could be a lack of accessibility. Traditional showers and bathtubs can be dangerous for people who struggle with mobility or have certain medical conditions. Your elderly parent may need adjustments to the bathroom to access the bath or shower. Consider some of the adjustments below to make their life easier:
Handrails
One of the most significant risks to older people is falling, which can cause severe injury and even death. Those risks are increased further while standing in the shower or getting in and out of the bathtub.
Non-slip stickers can help with footing, but handrails are also crucial. Install them inside the shower or tub at a level that makes it easy for your parent to reach.
Walk-In Bathtubs
The raised side of a bathtub may be too much for your elderly parent to manage. A walk-in bathtub can give them access to a relaxing bath without the dangers of falling while getting in and out. They just open the door hinge, step inside and close it behind them, using handrails to lower themselves or stand.
This is a more costly renovation but can make a huge difference and protect them from hospitalization or fatal accidents.
Shower Seats
If they use a shower, an inexpensive and easy solution may be a shower seat. This is a plastic chair with non-slip legs and draining holes in the seat, where the parent can sit while they wash. These can be bolted down to the shower floor for added stability.
A shower seat is an excellent investment for those on a stricter budget.
Offer More Help Around the House
Not all smells come from a lack of hygiene. If your parents have been struggling to take care of their home, odors from dirty floors, dishes, laundry, garbage, or animal waste can transfer. As they age, your parents may have difficulty keeping up with household chores.
If you have noticed a decrease in the cleanliness of their home, offering some help can be a lifesaver. Hiring a cleaning service can greatly impact your aging parents’ daily life and comfort.
You can also make slight environmental changes to help minimize additional body odor affecting the house itself. This includes opening windows to help air it out and using scented products like Febreze.
Consider Living Options
By age 65, most seniors have a 70% chance of needing some kind of long-term assistance or care. For most, this will be done out of facilities, using either hired help or family and friends as they reach the end of their lives. If a parent has dementia or other medical conditions, the need for this care will increase dramatically.
Hygiene is a common symptom of needing assistance that cannot be covered by changing things in the home. If your parents have been struggling or showing signs they can no longer live on their own, considering other options is critical to ensure they remain healthy and safe.
There are many potential avenues you can go down, including:
- Occasional Helpers – Paid or unpaid people who will come a few times a week to check up on the parent and help with tasks they struggle with.
- Live-In Help – Either hire a nurse or helper to live in the home with the parent or move them in with yourself or other family to provide around-the-clock assistance.
- Assisted Living – These are apartments or facilities that allow the parent to maintain independence while still being monitored, with intervention as needed.
- Nursing Homes – Parents with more intensive needs may need to be moved to a full-time care facility with medical and life assistance at every level. Some of these facilities may be temporary, while others may be permanent placements.
Conclusion
Discussing problems with hygiene is never a pleasant experience when addressing an elderly parent. But it’s possible to be respectful and kind while fixing the issue. All it takes is some tact and responsibility. After all, you love your parents and want what is best for them.
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