8 Ways That Parents and Caregivers Work Together


While they do a great job at ensuring your aging parent’s needs are met, caregivers don’t do this alone. In fact, caregivers and parents work together a lot more than you may initially think. This cooperation is one of the reasons that it’s important to ensure you hire the right caregiver to help your aging parents.

Caregivers and parents work together by finding out what the parents need together. Parents can ensure the caregiver takes adequate breaks by working to relieve some of the stress from the caregiver. Parents and caregivers are companions to each other and learn from each other. 

In this article, we’ll discuss how parents and caregivers work together to help each other live fulfilling lives by assessing their requirements together. We’ll also get into many more ways these two work together today, so let’s get started. 

1. Caregivers and Parents Identify Caregiving Needs Together

Knowing the patient’s needs can be initially challenging when a caregiver starts a new position. Coming into a new situation, they’ve spoken to you or another family member and only have a rough estimate of what should be done for your aging parent. 

This situation can be difficult for both parties, especially if your parent has been resistant to care. The parent may feel like their freedom and autonomy have been stripped away. 

Autonomy is a crucial aspect of human happiness, even as we age. A lack of freedom of choice can cause depression, anger, and resentment towards both the caregiver and you for hiring them in the first place. 

Caregivers may feel helpless until they know what your aging parent needs from them. They may find themselves doing more busy work than anything else – trying in vain to persist through the day. This is one of the primary reasons caregivers often leave jobs earlier than necessary. 

The good news is that caregivers and aging parents can and often do work together to find the needs of the individual and give care only when truly needed. 

For older adults, maintaining independence and a sense of self is important. It can feel humiliating for some people to need another adult to take care of them.

However, this issue can be easily solved by the caregiver and the parent discussing the parent’s needs together. For example, they may discuss the specifics of what the parent needs help doing (showering, getting out of bed, etc.) or specific times of day the parent needs assistance (mornings, evenings, etc.). 

Clearly drawn-up task lists and schedules also ensure that both your parents and their caregiver have established boundaries and time to themselves. This kind of scheduling goes a long way in preserving your parents’ autonomy and privacy and developing a working system that develops trust and respect.

Once an aging parent and a caregiver can learn to work together in these ways, everyone is usually happier, allowing for a more seamless transition into full-time care. 

2. They Work Together to Ensure No One Is Overwhelmed 

If you’ve ever been a caregiver, you know upfront that it’s hard work. The job can be overwhelming, and the sense of overwhelm often happens soon after the caregiver starts working. 

There’s often little time away in a position like this. In a normal job, a person works eight hours and typically has a thirty-minute or one-hour lunch break. The breaks are consistent, giving the individual something to look forward to. With caregiving, however, this looks completely different. 

Caregivers don’t get frequent breaks, and they and the person being cared for can feel upset. The parent may feel like they are taking advantage of the caregiver or being too needy. On the other hand, the caregiver may feel tired and run down. 

However, when a caregiver and an aging parent work together, there can be scheduled breaks. For example, an aging parent may see a time when they don’t need the caregiver’s assistance, such as during a TV break or while taking a nap. During this time, they may suggest that the caregiver takes a well-deserved break or nap themselves. Are Caregivers Allowed to Nap While on the Job?

Through this, no one feels taken advantage of or like they are burdening another person. This simple gesture often greatly affects how a caregiver-parent relationship works. 

3. Caregivers and Aging Parents Ease Each Other’s Stress

It may sound counterintuitive to say that parents ease stress in their caregivers since the caregiver’s job is to remove stress from your aging parent. But surprisingly, in well-functioning relationships, they remove stress from each other. 

Caregivers remove stress from the parent by helping them with their basic needs. This support often makes a huge difference for the aging parent who feels trapped because they can no longer do as much as they once could. 

On the other hand, aging parents remove stress from the caregiver by cooperating with them, helping them with tasks, and letting them know necessary information.

Anyone who has been a caregiver knows that it can be extraordinarily challenging. Lifting the dead weight of another human being, dealing with attitude changes in the individual, and constantly running to new tasks are all enormously stressful. 

Even though aging parents need assistance, most times, they can help the caregiver relieve some of their stress simply by being willing to have a good attitude and do some things on their own. 

A cooperative and helpful patient can significantly affect the caregiver’s feelings about the position. They will be able to provide better care, which improves their relationship with your parents. In turn, your parents will feel better about receiving care from someone they like and can trust. 

4. Caregivers and Aging Parents Learn From Each Other

Caregiving is an incredible opportunity to learn from someone older and wiser than you. For this reason, it’s not uncommon for a strong bond to be formed between an elderly individual and a caregiver. Hours spent together talking and sharing stories tend to have this effect. 

Aging adults almost universally love to tell stories about their glory days – things they’ve been through, seen, or experienced in some way or another. They remember what life was like when their children were small and when they were children. Too often, aging adults have no one to talk to about this, which can rapidly lead to depression. 

When a caregiver is in the picture, they have someone they can teach. Such companionship makes a huge difference for many aging parents. After all, they’ve spent most of their life teaching their children and younger people. 

On the other hand, caregivers benefit from learning from the aging parent. No matter the caregiver’s age, they have often reported learning new skills from those they care for. These skills are then passed down to the caregiver’s younger family members, and the cycle continues. 

Teaching and learning help both parties feel fulfilled, one of the major things that make working as a caregiver worthwhile. 

5. Caregivers and Parents Are Each Other’s Companions 

Companionship, like teaching and learning, is a major component of caregiving. In fact, many caregivers are hired specifically for companion care

Companion care is a bit different than we’ve discussed with teaching and learning because it’s not just about conversation. It’s about being in someone else’s presence. 

This benefit is stronger for aging parents because they often feel alone. Their children have all grown up, and they’ve been alone for many years. This loneliness is especially prevalent if a spouse has already passed away. 

Aging adults often feel like there’s nothing left to live for. This feeling leads to depression and bitterness toward living. Caregivers give these individuals an opportunity to see life differently. Instead of spending their days alone, they now get to spend them communicating, connecting, or simply sitting in the presence of another human being. 

Caregivers and aging adults spend long hours together. A caregiving position often lasts far longer than eight hours, sometimes from sunrise to sunset. Some caregiving positions are even live-in positions and require the caregiver to be present at all times. 

While this type of position is demanding and difficult, it forges bonds stronger than almost any other position. 

For the caregiver, spending time around someone else throughout the day can also be a major benefit, especially if they are extroverted or don’t have family nearby. Often, people get into the caregiving field because they feel like they’re home too much. 

Knowing they are making a difference in an aging adult’s life often brings satisfaction unlike anything else. They love seeing how happy their presence makes the aging parent, and the aging parent loves having another person’s presence in the long-since empty home. 

6. Caregivers Help Aging Adults Feel Safer

Once you reach a certain age, there are more things to worry about. Your aging parents probably can’t defend themselves very well, if at all, and having a caregiver in the house at all times makes a giant difference in how safe they feel being home.

Most aging adults don’t want to move to a retirement or assisted living home, and understandably so. These homes nearly always take away independence from them, which can lead to discomfort and frustration. An in-home caregiver is often the solution.

Your aging parents can rest assured that someone will take care of their needs, that all the doors are locked at night, and that they have someone with them in case of an emergency. This knowledge brings comfort and peace of mind and helps everyone feel better about the situation. 

On the other hand, the caregiver benefits by feeling like they are ensuring the safety of someone they care about. It’s instinctual to want to care for older people and children, and being a caregiver fulfills this need for many people. 

Overall, both parties benefit when the aging parents feel safe. The caregiver’s job is secured, and the aging parent is happier. 

7. Caregivers and Aging Parents Partner Together 

Surprisingly, one of the biggest ways caregivers and aging parents end up working together is through a partnership in some endeavor.  

Most older adults aren’t ready to give up on life quite yet. They’ve lived a lot of their life and can’t work a normal job anymore, but this doesn’t mean they don’t still have a lot going on in their minds. 

For many aging adults, a caregiver is a perfect person to partner with for a brand new adventure, particularly if your aging parent still has a healthy zest for risk. This kind of partnership is especially the case when the caregiver has been hired as a companion caregiver.

The aging adult sees their caregiver as someone that can be trusted. At these ages, these individuals don’t always have a lot of friends to fall back on, and having another trusted adult to continue to live with makes a big difference for them. 

The aging parent can be the backbone of an operation, allowing the caregiver to do all the things they can’t do and explore new spaces and opportunities. 

8. Caregivers and Parents Overcome Limitations Together

As adults ages, they often place limitations on themselves that shouldn’t be there. Most often, these imaginary limitations come from those they are surrounded with. 

Because aging adults have these barriers, it can be challenging for them to feel like they have a purpose anymore. Offering this sense of purpose is where a caregiver comes in.

Caregivers are there to ensure that your aging parents learn new methods for navigating physically, emotionally, and mentally. They ensure that the aging adult sees where they can succeed, leading to a stronger sense of independence and faith in themselves. 

For most aging adults, this personality difference after this occurs is dramatic. They can cultivate an interest in life and feel happy rather than depressed.

Aging parents can also help caregivers see their own limitations. It’s always helpful to have a listening ear and someone who can encourage you to do the things you thought you couldn’t.  Caregivers are able to learn about themselves, and what they can and cannot do, and often find that they have their older adult clients supporting them in their endeavors. 
So now that you better understand the role of a caregiver and how they are helping your parents, check out my article detailing the best way to complement a caregiver. Maintaining a positive relationship with your parent’s caregiver will increase the overall positivity in your household and also ensure they continue giving their best service to your parent. 9 Ways to Compliment Caregivers for the Elderly

tatorchip

Roger L. "Chip" Mitchell is the owner of Growing Gray USA. Having worked with seniors and their families for over a decade as the owner of ComForCare Home Care of Northwest Georgia, Chip is able to share his insights working with aging senior adults and their adult children who are now finding themselves in a new role as caregivers for their parents.

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