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As an adult child tasked with the responsibility of caring for aging parents, it is normal to feel like you are giving up your best years to do watch over them. While you will, in most cases, feel okay early on, the passing of the years can, and will leave you feeling worn out. So, do you have any reprieve?
You don’t have to give up your life to care for your elderly parents. Thankfully, there are better ways to care for your elderly parents, including taking your folks to an assisted living facility, hiring a caregiver, and integrating assistive devices into your home, such as walkers and grab bars.
In this article, I will go over why you should not give up your life to care for elderly parents. I will also touch on some of the home care resources and alternative options available to ensure that your elderly parents are well taken care of. Read one for more,
Why You Should Not Give Up Your Life for Elderly Parents
As an adult child, it is only natural to feel responsible for caring for your aging parents when they can no longer take care of themselves. After all, they took care of you since you were little.
However, caring for someone else can be very challenging. This is especially true when you also have to contend with your own responsibilities and have your own life to live. Oftentimes, you will feel that you can’t adequately take care of yourself.
The sense of duty to care for your aging parents can also place significant strain on your own life. This can result in a lot of stress and leave little room to tackle your own struggles or pursue your goals.
There are other risks involved in trying to do it all by yourself, such as:
Lower Quality of Life
By acting as the sole caregiver for your aging parents, it is likely that you will not be able to live as prosperous as you would like. This is because caring for aging parents often means that you will stop considering your life. As a result, it is easy to be blinded to your own dreams, hopes, and goals, which no longer take priority in your life.
Increased Stress and Anxiety
As hinted at above, trying to place the burden of caring for your elderly parents all on your own can cause tremendous stress and anxiety. This stress and anxiety can become so severe that it manifests as physical pain and suffering.
Some reports have indicated that as many as 16% of caregivers feel emotionally strained. Others suffer from so much exhaustion that they are not able to go to bed. Up to 11% of caregivers have also experienced deterioration of their physical health.
These are tell-tale signs that you need to take a step back and consider the toll on your health that caring for your elderly parents may result in.
Financial Strain
The elder care experts at Commonwise Home Care recommend hiring a professional to assist your elderly parents. According to this source, it is easy to find yourself in a financial bottomless pit from buying prescriptions, supplies, gas, and other expenses involved in caring for your elderly parents.
Hiring a professional at a flat fee or placing your elderly parents in an assistive facility provides more effective alternatives.
Risk of Job Loss
There is a very real risk that you might lose your job or have to quit if you take on the role of primary caregiver alone. After all, this can be a full-time job that will require a lot of sacrifices.
According to a 2019 report published on CNBC, the high costs associated with caring for loved ones and the amount of time out of work due to this care can result in bankruptcy. It is also essential to appreciate that bouncing back from a job loss can be very difficult, especially if you still have to juggle that while caring for elderly parents.
You May Not Have the Right Expertise
Putting your life on hold to the care of elderly parents may seem and sound noble. However, caring for elderly persons requires skills and competencies you may not yet possess.
For this reason, caring for the elderly is best left to the professionals trained to handle the physical and cognitive issues associated with aging persons.
So what does this mean for you?
Caring for aging parents does not necessarily mean that you have to give up your own life. While it may seem that you need to dedicate as much of your time to caring for your elderly parents, this could not be further from the truth. Self-care has to come into play.
There are numerous support options available to relieve the burden. These include:
- Hiring respite caregivers.
- Checking your elderly parents into an assisted living facility.
- Seeking support from family or friends.
- Integrating supportive resources into your home to help aging parents, among others.
Let’s discuss each of these options in detail below.
Hire a Caregiver
Hiring professional caregivers is one of the best options for caring for your elderly parents without giving up your life. Numerous companies offer professional personal care for elderly persons.
As emphasized by the experts from Assure Home Assist, elderly parents will require assistance with things they could easily do on their own. These include feeding, bathing, dressing, and so on. This means that a considerable chunk of your day may go to caring for your elderly parents.
One of the advantages of hiring a professional caregiver is that they can assist your parents with routine tasks during the day. That way, you can focus on your own life without worrying about your parents.
A professional caregiver will also help your aging parent maintain independence. They will also serve as a companion. Therefore, your parents can have someone to talk to throughout the day, without compromising your work schedule.
Additionally, a professional giver’s primary role is to provide companionship and care to your loved ones. The risk that your parents will be forgotten due to a busy day or work schedule will be minimized. This is important, especially if your parents also need to receive regular medication doses.
A caregiver is also trained to identify signs of illnesses that you may not be able to notice. This approach is, therefore, more effective in staying on top of potential undiagnosed diseases. This all translates into less stress for you and your family during this entire process.
Still, on the health aspect, a professional caregiver is also equipped and trained to provide specialized healthcare needs. As your parents’ age, their physical and mental health deteriorates. This results in diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.
This means that they may require attention and assistance that you may not be equipped or able to provide.
To hire a live-in caregiver, you should prepare your home first. I recommend my complete guide to learn how to do it. How to Prepare a Home for a Live-in Caregiver
Placing Your Elderly Parents in an Assisted Living Facility
Placing your elderly parents in an assisted living facility, even for a few days, can give you a much-needed break. According to the Senior Helpers website, an assisted living facility can provide full-service care for elderly parents who may need around-the-clock support.
You may also consider adult daycare centers if you just want help caring for your parents while you are at work.
These facilities are also helpful in catering to those parents who are adamant about receiving help from their parents. There are many elderly parents who are not only unwilling to allow their parents to put their lives on hold for them but are also not comfortable with strangers coming to their homes.
Save for the above, it is vital to consider the challenges of trying to care for your elderly parents on your own. For instance, there are physical challenges associated with caring for senior citizens, including but not limited to helping them to the toilet, to bed, to wheelchairs, and so on.
There is a real risk of injuring yourself or your parents if you are not properly trained. The senior care experts at Senior Safety Advice also explain that there are also emotional challenges associated with caring for aging parents at home.
It can be mentally tasking to see your parents struggling with their physical and mental health or in pain as they grow older. While you may want to take care of your parents, it is important to appreciate that this is also a difficult period for you.
Therefore, placement in a nursing home, assisted living facility, or other senior care facilities can be helpful in this difficult period.
When you place your elderly parents in an assisted living, visit them frequently. Visiting frequency depends on their need and your schedule. Click on the link to learn how to determine how often you should go there.
When you place your elderly parents in assisted living, visit them frequently. Visiting frequency depends on their needs and your schedule. Click on the link to learn how to determine how often you should go there. How Often Should You Visit Parents in Assisted Living?
Ask Family and Friends for Help
Amanda Lambert–a certified care Manager and aging life care professional–explains that asking family and friends for help can be a useful respite for primary caregivers. According to Lambert, it is easy to assume that you should do it all on your own as the primary caregiver.
It is, however, essential to ask for some help from other family members and friends. Remember that most of the care you will need to give is for routine activities. These include helping with the bathroom, getting prescriptions, assisting with cooking, shopping, eating, and more.
You can ask other family members or friends to help with these activities. These views are echoed in DailyCaring, an award-winning caregiving website. According to this source, caring for elderly parents is easier when others are ready and available to share the work.
Most importantly, this means that you do not have to take on the responsibilities all on your own.
Integrate Assisted Devices in Your Home
As previously stated, losing independence is one of the challenges of growing old. This means that your elderly parents may struggle with routine tasks. However, there are numerous assistive devices you can integrate into your home to help your parents maintain their independence.
Some of these assistive devices and resources include the following:
Canes, Walkers, or Wheelchairs
If your elderly parents are struggling with mobility, you should consider purchasing a cane, walker, or wheelchair. As explained by Commonwise Home Care, walkers, wheelchairs, and canes are some of the most common mobility devices.
These devices are ideal when your parent can walk but require additional support to walk properly, maintain balance, or relieve the strain from their knees, hips, and ankles.
I recommend the Vive Adjustable Walking Cane on Amazon.com. This lightweight cane is adjustable to support persons of most heights for versatile use. This cane also boasts a sturdy build for durability and has an anti-slip rubber cover for added safety. Alternatively, the Drive Medical Walking Cane on Amazon is also worth a look for its quality and durability.
This cane features an adjustable design with a locking ring for a mix of comfort and safety. The aluminum shaft is also sturdy yet lightweight. The comfortable soft foam hand grip is also designed to minimize hand fatigue.
For walkers. I recommend the Drive Medical Folding Walker from Amazon.com. This walker has push-button mechanisms for simple operation. They also feature a lightweight yet robust aluminum frame for reliable strength. The integrated front wheels and vinyl-contoured hand grip also aid maneuverability.
For a few extra bucks, you can also get the Carex Health Brands 3 Rolling Walker on Amazon.com for improved maneuverability. The foldable design allows space-saving storage and is ideal for use in tight spaces, while the adjustable handles support personalized comfort. The PVC material also ensures long-lasting use.
If you are considering a wheelchair, I recommend the Medline User-Friendly Wheelchair on Amazon.com. This wheelchair has elevating leg rests for added comfort, and the flip-back, desk-length arms allow effortless movement under tables. The breathable nylon upholstery also ensures plenty of airflow to keep your loved one cool.
Purchasing an Electric Scooter
The electric scooter is becoming increasingly popular among elder parents. An electric scooter will ensure that your elder parents can move around with ease whether they are indoors or outdoors. Therefore, they provide greater functionality than walkers or wheelchairs.
This means that your parents can even go out in search of groceries on their own. An excellent choice is the Thrive Mobility Fold and Travel Scooter on Amazon.com. This lightweight and ultra-portable scooter is made of carbon steel for lasting use. It also has a long-range battery that delivers up to 28 km on a single charge.
Another excellent option is the Generic 2022 New United Mobility Scooter, available on Amazon.com. This battery-operated scooter has a range of up to 17 miles (27.35 km). It is also easy to handle and folds easily for simple portability.
Installing a Ramp
As your parents grow older, the risk of accidental falls increases. Additionally, it is difficult to maneuver around the house on a wheelchair or walker over stairs. A ramp can help in such instances.
I recommend installing the LIEKUMM Portable Aluminum Ramp on Amazon.com in your home over small stairs. This foldable ramp is easy to carry and place over steps, doorways, and curbs, allowing unhindered scooter or wheelchair movement.
The Koozam Wheelchair Ramp on Amazon.com is also an excellent option. This ramp features a skidproof surface for increased safety. It also has a wide surface, making it ideal for wheelchairs and scooters. The aluminum build is also lightweight and sturdy for lasting use.
Grab Bars
Installing grab bars is also an effective solution to help your elderly parents to maintain their independence. You can install these bars in commonly used spaces, including the bathroom and bed.
Consider installing the Moen Grab Bars on Amazon.com in your bathroom. These bars feature a brushed nickel finish that easily blends with most bathroom decors. The metal material offers durability and stability, while a grip pad provides a secure hold and optimizes comfort.
The RoyalStairs Handrails on Amazon.com is also a useful addition to your entrance or patio steps. The cast-iron material is sturdy and durable. These handrails also arrive with installation hardware for simple, quick installation.
You should install grab bars at an angle. Don’t know why? Read my guide to find out the reason. This is Why Grab Bars Should Be Installed at an Angle
Final Thoughts
In closing, giving up your life to support your elderly parents is a tall order. The good news is that you do not have to bear the consequences of such a decision on your personal growth, well-being, and career.
By opting for the options discussed herein, you can ensure that your elderly parents receive the help and support they need.
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