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As we reach a certain age, our bones start growing weary, our skin starts wrinkling, and several organs in our body tend to wear out as well. Old age catches up with everyone at one point. However, it catches up with our parents before it catches up with us.
You shouldn’t walk away from your aged parents because they cannot function properly, both physically and mentally, on their own. This means they could be a danger to themselves or even other people. Furthermore, they may need help with medical expenses.
Additionally, if you walk away from your elderly parents, your own children may think it’s okay to do the same to you when it’s your turn to need help. Keep reading to learn more about why you should stick it out with your parents, even when it’s hard.
Why You Shouldn’t Abandon Your Elderly Parents
Dealing with an elderly parent can be an expensive and exhausting task. However, even though it gets hard, you shouldn’t walk away from them. Let’s look at some of the reasons why.
Your Parents Cannot Function on Their Own Properly
As your parents grow older and weaker, they need assistance to perform daily activities, including:
- Walking to the bathroom
- Eating and drinking
- Changing clothes
- Communicating their needs
Hence, they need someone to help them perform the simplest chores.
If they try to do these chores on their own, it might endanger their lives. Having you around to help them can be the one thing that keeps them safe.
They Need Help Making Decisions
Most aged people lose their senses and the ability to make reasonable decisions. Their decisions can be easily manipulated and taken advantage of. Seemingly small lapses in memory, such as not taking their medicines, can lead to catastrophic consequences.
Furthermore, if they fall victim to a scam, they could even sell off their property or assets to someone else. Hence, it would be ideal if you or any of your siblings were present to assist them in making decisions.
They Can Be a Danger to Themselves and Others
Even without meaning to be, the elderly can become their own worst enemies. Forgetting to turn off the stove or a bathroom heater could lead to house fires. Leaving the doors unlocked could be an invitation for intruders who mean them harm.
Furthermore, some elderly parents refuse to give up their car keys. This can put other people in danger, as well. Furthermore, when elderly people have car crashes, they’re much more likely to be fatal than when younger people have them.
They Might Need Help Bearing Medical Expenses
Medical bills can be quite hefty. Some older people might need expensive treatments such as chemotherapy, surgeries, dialysis, ventilation, etc. Your parents’ funds or pension might not be enough to bear their medical expenses. Hence, a small share from you can perhaps help them live their final years in comfort.
Your Kids Will Take This as a Learning Lesson
Parents are children’s role models. You might have seen your kids adopt your habits or even the way you talk, sit, or act. Your children are keenly observing everything that you do, which gets stored in their subconscious. Seeing you love and take care of your elderly parents will teach your kids to look after you with the same devotion when you get old.
Reasons You Might Want to Abandon Your Aging Parents
Elderly parents might face several issues and diseases due to aging. These issues may become a source of frequent arguments. Hence, many individuals might find it challenging to care for their elderly parents while managing a household and their own families.
Some of the most trying issues are listed below.
Deteriorating Mental Health
As humans get older and weaker, they find it hard to remember things as well as they used to. In a healthy, elderly individual, this usually consists of forgetting where they put their belongings or mixing up names and stories.
Some older people may also suffer from common old age diseases such as Alzheimer’s, where the person has progressive memory degeneration. This disease causes them to forget essential details of their life, such as relatives and even themselves.
Memory loss can be an agonizing issue for children living with an elderly parent having this problem. Many people might find it mentally exhausting to communicate with their parents or explain things to them repeatedly. This can result in outbursts and the feeling of abandoning their parents.
Needing Assistance to Perform Physical Activity
Elderly individuals not only grow older but weaker as well. Their backs become hunched, and their walking becomes slow and labored. Some of these elderly individuals may also have a condition that restricts them to bed. In contrast, others need support for walking due to joint pain or shaky legs.
This is perhaps the most challenging issue to overcome for elderly parents and their adult children who care for them.
Being unable to move without support means that these individuals would require constant support from their children for basic tasks such as taking a bath or climbing the stairs. Children who work full-time or have families might find it exhausting to be available around the clock.
Financial Burden
One of the inevitable truths that older people need to face is that they will be unable to work and earn a living. Elderly individuals do not have enough strength and stamina to work to support themselves. Hence, they ultimately become dependent on their children for provisions unless they have pension income.
To some people, it seems fair that parents provided for their children when they were young; hence, the children should do the same in return. However, it becomes increasingly more difficult for the children to take care of the medical expenses and finances of their elderly parents, especially if the family is struggling financially.
Sometimes, even when children love their parents dearly, “walking away” seems like a better solution than going broke.
How You Can Take Care of Your Aging Parents
If you work, live, or have a family in a different city, country, or state, you don’t have to move to where your parents reside or ask them to move to your place.
In this modern era, there are several options available to you through which you can take care of your elderly parents’ well-being. You can:
- Hire nurses
- Buy essential monitoring tools and safety equipment
- Establish emergency contacts and protocols
- Put your parents in a nursing home or assisted living facility
Caretakers
Caretakers for the elderly are now available with a single phone call. Many volunteering organizations offer caretaker services that you can use, as well as other agencies that provide these services. You can also interview the applicants to ensure they are well-equipped and trained to handle and care for your elderly parents efficiently.
Aside from caretakers, many hospitals now offer in-home nursing services. Through this, nurses can take care of elderly patients who are ill and provide care and rehabilitation for them in the comfort of their homes. To look for caretakers, you can refer to organizations like Senior Living or Help Guide.
Monitoring Equipment
Various health monitoring equipment is available that can detect falls, blood pressure, and heartbeats and can also track current locations. If you live far away or are going away on a short trip, you can purchase some of this equipment and monitor the well-being of your parents. You can also purchase cameras and baby monitors for visual supervision as well.
Support Equipment
There is a wide variety of support equipment for the elderly according to their needs. This equipment consists mainly of the following:
- Grab bars
- Rails
- Bathroom support rods
- Mobility scooters
- Wheelchairs
- Canes
You can easily find them at affordable rates on Amazon, eBay, and other eCommerce sites.
With the help of support equipment, it is easier for people to monitor and take care of their elderly parents. These tools also help make the elderly more independent in performing some of their daily tasks.
Divide Tasks With Your Siblings
If you don’t live near your parents or don’t wish to visit them often, you can always reach out to your siblings and ask them to divide the tasks. You can send money or share in your parents’ well-being in other ways. Furthermore, you and your siblings can also take turns looking after your parents to divide the burden.
Nursing Homes
While it may be undesirable for you to send your parents away to a nursing home, it may not be as bad for them as you think. If your parents consent to live in a nursing home, it may be a good place for them to find people in the same life stage. This can help them find a sense of community and engage in activities with their newfound friends.
Your elderly parents can leave the nursing home if they have problems or are unhappy. Check out my guide to find out the reasons an elderly may want to leave a nursing home. Could an Elderly Parent Leave a Nursing Home?
Conclusion
Instead of turning your back on an elderly parent, you can take several steps to make them and yourself more comfortable. This can help you both lead a fulfilled and satisfying life.
Nevertheless, remember that your own mental and physical well-being is as vital as that of your parents. You might get stressed out or develop anxiety issues while managing your life, your family’s life, and that of your parents. Hence, take measures to ensure you are not exhausting yourself while catering to your parents’ needs.
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