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The elderly are quite often targeted by con artists and scammers seeking to make a quick buck. And if the older adult is suffering from a disease like dementia or Alzheimer’s, getting them to part with their money is even easier. So, how do you stop an aging parent from giving away their money?
To stop aging parents from giving away their money, educate them about their finances. You must also look at the people they interact with, examine their transaction history, and get legal help if required.
Getting old people to understand the gravity of their actions can be extremely challenging and time-consuming. However, it’s crucial to get your elderly parents to stop giving away money, and this article will explain how to g about it.
1. Educate Them
The first step is to understand that your parents are at an age when specific mundane tasks may be challenging. And with the rapid changes in technology and how the bank interacts with customers, they need help managing their finances properly. If they are finding it difficult, you may ask them to take control of their finances as a short-term solution.
You can ask them to keep their ATM card and checkbook with you and hand it over whenever they need them. Be respectful and polite when communicating this to them because while your parents may be old, they don’t want to seem like invalids, and most older adults want control over certain aspects of their lives.
Instead of forcing guidelines and restrictions, tell them how their money might be safer with you.
Some parents may not be comfortable with the idea, and you have to respect that. If this is the case, educate them on the dangers of con artists and frauds who may try to get in touch under the false pretense that they are calling from the bank.
Tell them if they receive calls where someone requests their bank details, it’s crucial that they keep the information private. Let them know that banking personnel will never call and ask for bank details for any reason. Additionally, tell them to contact you immediately so you can report such fraud calls to the concerned authorities.
Your parents may be duped by people pretending that they have won a large sum of money and the only way to receive it is to provide bank details. People tend to get more trusting with age, and they will believe anyone on the phone. So it’s best to educate them about this to avoid future problems.
With age, as your elderly parents start losing their autonomy, they will start behaving differently. As such, it’s important to keep up communication and educate them about things happening around them, so they don’t get scammed. 6 Reasons Why Parents Change as They Get Older
2. Monitor Their Interactions
Aside from telling them about online scams (which are often pretty apparent to us), it’s crucial to monitor their interactions with other people regularly. While this may seem like an unnecessary step, it’s essential to safeguard your parents’ financial health.
The people in your aging parent’s life include caregivers, new ‘friends’ and ‘love interests,’ or family members who seem to have taken a sudden interest in your parent’s life.
Remember, most older people are bored and lonely. They crave companionship, constantly sometimes, and don’t always receive it from their children and grandchildren. As such, people who show a sudden interest in their lives can have a powerful effect on them.
Most often, these people are family members who are aware that getting close to your parents can help them subtly siphon away money from them. But sometimes, you’ll find young people suddenly showing up in your parent’s life and keeping them company. You may also be surprised to find that your parent has a new love interest they’re spending considerable time with.
Of course, you don’t want to rob your parents of their newfound happiness. And it’s not always the case that someone befriends an older adult to steal their money. But it’s essential to question this new relationship and ask your parents if any money was handed to this new person.
If this new person in your parent’s life asks for money, it’s crucial to confront them immediately and let them know you’re aware of their interactions. You may tell them that you’re aware of the relationship and will contact legal authorities if required. This step should help them understand that exploiting their parents will land them in trouble.
In some instances, your parent’s primary caregiver may form a close bond with them. Your parent may want to give them some money as a token of their appreciation, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you find out that this caregiver has requested your parents for money, question them immediately and contact their agency if required.
Follow the same protocol when distant family members ask your parents for money. Confront them, and get the local authorities involved if necessary.
It gets tricky when a sibling or close relative asks for money because there are fewer legal grounds to deal with such exploitation. Instead, have a family discussion where you can discuss this issue and discuss options.
3. Check Their Financial History
The most effective way to ensure your parents are unduly giving away money is to keep track of their transactions on a regular basis. Even if your parents aren’t known to part with their money, keeping track of their transactions will give you a better idea of their financial position.
Tracking their financial history is crucial in controlling their impulse to give away money, as you can figure out when they give away money and how to stop them.
You may find that your parent’s utility bills or rent remain unpaid, but amounts for the same have been taken from their account without a clear explanation. These are sure signs that:
- Someone contacted your parents pretending to be from the electricity, gas, housing, or other agency and requested them to make the payment to a specific account.
- Someone else has access to your parent’s finances and is siphoning money in small increments.
It’s common for old people to be exploited this way and for the scammers to extract a sum that reflects an amount they pay regularly. However, when you examine their accounts, you can quickly catch such scams and take action immediately.
In either case, it’s best to figure out who your parents have been in touch with and report these activities to the authorities concerned. Examining their financial history will also teach you their spending pattern, and you can quickly spot when something is amiss.
You can quickly retrace the transaction and take the necessary action. In most instances, people are unable to help their parents because they haven’t kept track of their accounts and are unaware of where the money is gone.
4. Keep Technology to a Minimum
Living in a digital age can be confusing and challenging for older people. Especially when basic life tasks, like ordering groceries or paying bills, happen over the internet. The best thing you can do for your parents is to set up an automated system of payments for basic expenses, like rent and utilities.
You can also contact the local grocery store and pay them directly to deliver groceries to your parents. Unless mum or dad are tech savvy, it’s best to avoid keeping a computer in their home. Scammers today are adept at remotely controlling devices and extracting information they can use to steal large sums of money.
And older adults are notorious for putting up all their information on the internet without giving it a second thought. They are also often drawn to online advertisements and websites that promise cash prizes in exchange for account information.
Being fluent with technology, most of us are aware of websites that are scams and those that are legit. And some of us still get scammed! So imagine your aging parent trying to navigate the confusing spaces of the online world.
As such, it’s best to keep technology to a minimum or tell them to avoid putting any personal information online.
However, it would help if you considered getting them a mobile phone and removing the landline, so they aren’t contacted by con artists who are aware of such details. And as with the computer, ensure your parents don’t enter sensitive information on their phones or talk to strangers.
Depending on how receptive they are, it might be worth it to teach your elderly parents some essentials about staying safe on the internet.
5. Involve a Financial Advisor
Older people can be stubborn, and sometimes, sitting and telling them how to handle finances better may not work. Quite often, these discussions may lead to arguments, causing them to want to defend their position even more. And they aren’t likely to part with their money if they can’t understand the reasons why.
So, instead of trying to convince people who are unwilling to listen, consider hiring a professional. Involving a financial advisor may be costly, but it will save you and your parents a lot more money in the long run.
Older adults may not be willing to listen to their kids, but they’re sure to pay attention to a professional trying to help them. A financial advisor can also help you understand how to manage your parent’s finances better and teach you about safeguards to keep in place in case things don’t go as planned.
As with most folks, people don’t want advice from loved ones but don’t mind it coming from a third-party member or figure of authority. A financial advisor can adequately explain to your parents what will happen if they continue spending money at the current rate and the dangers it could pose to them.
6. Ask for Power of Attorney
Asking for legal control of your parent’s finances may seem like an extreme step. But in some cases, it’s the only way to ensure they don’t throw away their money. If your parents give away so much money they have none left for themselves, the financial burden can be too much to bear.
So, instead of reaching this point, ask your parents if you can assume control of their finances. Keep in mind, however, that in most cases, you will require their consent, and they can still withdraw money from the bank. But this will limit the chances of someone contacting them and asking for bank details.
In some cases, like when a parent is deemed mentally incapable of handling finances, you may appeal to legal authorities and assume control. Your parent will first be examined by professionals to determine whether they are incapable of handling their money. Once the test is affirmative, you get total control of the finances.
Remember that this step can lead to significant conflict within the family. Once a physician has diagnosed your parents, you are on solid legal ground to take over their trust funds and other finances.
However, your parents may feel hurt and insulted if you go about things in this way. And it may be challenging to convince them of the necessity of this move. I have an article discussing ways you can cope with elderly parents guilting you. You can check it out for some ideas to keep the negative remarks from getting under your skin. What to Do When Elderly Parents Make You Feel Guilty
Note: If your mom or dad is suffering from dementia, Alzheimer’s, or other mental diseases, this step is essential.
Think about it. If they continue to hand out money to strangers and other family members, they will likely have none left for themselves. And this will leave you in a crippled position, having to pay entirely from your resources to support them through their old age.
So while power of attorney can be a painful step to take, it’s necessary to stave off the inevitable financial ruin your parents will otherwise experience.
Conclusion
Scammers, con artists, and salespeople aren’t the only ones out to get your parents’ money. In some instances, their primary caregivers, new ‘friends’ or ‘romantic interests,’ and even certain family members may be exploiting them.
If someone threatens your parents or coerces them in some way, it’s easy to resolve the issue by contacting legal authorities. However, there’s very little the system can do if your parents willingly agree to part with their money.
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