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As your parent ages, knowing how to support and care for them can be challenging. One option you may consider is moving them into a nursing home, where they can receive specialized care and you can visit them as often as possible. To make the most of your visits, it’s important to know what to say and do.
When visiting someone in a nursing home, use statements that show support and offer comfort. Some things you might say include expressing happiness to see the person, asking about their well-being, and offering a listening ear and emotional support.
In the rest of this article, I will discuss some tips and ideas for things to say and do to make your visit meaningful and enjoyable for both you and your loved one.
How Do You Comfort Someone in a Nursing Home?
Whether you are just starting to explore the option of a nursing home for your parent or have already decided to move forward, the following tips can help you navigate the experience and make the most of your time together.
Create a Sense of Purpose
It is often assumed that seniors, especially those in nursing homes or end-of-life care, have little to offer and contribute. Worse still, this negative attitude can be internalized by seniors, leading to a loss of a sense of purpose.
Research has shown that elderly people who feel useful and valued are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases and cognitive impairment.
They tend to live longer due to the following:
- Increased physical activity
- Lower stress levels
- Better self-care
As you visit your parent in the nursing home, it’s important to recognize and respect their value and worth, regardless of their physical and mental abilities or living situation.
During your visits, try to do the following:
- Help them find meaning and purpose in life by encouraging them to remain engaged and active despite the challenges of aging.
- Show your parent they are appreciated and accepted by consulting them on matters and asking for their input and ideas.
- Make them feel valued by listening to their thoughts and plans for the future, and offer your support and encouragement for these plans.
Acknowledge Their Feelings
It’s essential to be aware that your loved one may feel a range of emotions, such as sadness or loneliness, while staying in a nursing home. Validate their feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel this way.
Old age, health issues, and the restrictive environment of a nursing home can create anxiety and feelings of vulnerability. Knowing how to deal with these feelings is crucial in providing comfort to a senior in a nursing home.
Depression is common among residents in senior homes. They may experience a lack of self-worth and try to disconnect from people.
Feeling isolated from the world can be just as harmful as any chronic health problem. It’s important to provide emotional support to seniors in nursing homes at all times.
Instead of trying to dismiss or discount the negative feelings that the elderly may experience, it’s better to listen and assess the need for additional therapy. Depression can be hard to identify, especially in introverted seniors.
These seniors may also distance themselves from people who ask too many questions, so it’s crucial to be careful when discussing sensitive, emotional issues.
Stay Positive
While you should acknowledge any negative feelings your loved one may have, try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and bring some cheer to their day. Seniors in nursing homes often worry about end-of-life issues and death.
Family members may also worry about their loved ones passing on. It’s crucial to set aside these worries — even though it’s easier said than done — and be a source of hope for your parent.
Have a positive outlook and give encouraging words to them. Tell them they will be okay and that you care about their well-being. Encourage them to be strong and optimistic.
Even if the chances of them returning home are slim, try not to instill fear. Positivity can renew hope in your elderly parent and change their perspective on the situation.
Give a Warm Goodbye
As you prepare to leave the nursing home, remember to express your gratitude and appreciation to your parent for the visit.
In addition, try to engage them in planning for your next visit by asking them about their expectations and preferences.
Some questions you may want to ask include the following:
- What items they would like you to bring on your next visit
- When they would like you to come back
- If they have any concerns about their care at the nursing home
Make sure to listen carefully to their responses and address any concerns they may have before you depart. This can help to ensure that your parent feels cared for and supported.
Tips for Making Visits to Nursing Homes More Meaningful
Visit Frequently
One of the most comforting things you can do is to make an effort to visit your parent at the nursing home regularly. This can help them feel connected to the outside world and remind them that they are not alone.
Research shows that loneliness is a serious problem, especially among older adults. Even people living with others can experience loneliness if they don’t have meaningful connections.
For seniors in nursing homes, the chances of making meaningful connections with one another are limited by the diverse physical and mental health issues that come with aging and being confined to the nursing facility.
Most people are reluctant to visit their aging relatives and friends in nursing homes due to the fear of awkward moments. The sight of elderly relatives and friends struggling and suffering in a nursing home has the potential to depress many people. The result is often brief and stiff visits that rarely add any value to the lives of their loved ones living in the nursing facility.
Engage in Activities Together
Engaging in activities together can be a wonderful way to connect with and comfort your elderly parent in a nursing home. There are many different activities to choose from for both individuals and groups.
Some ideas for individual activities include:
- Playing a quiz game
- Working on a puzzle
- Simply chatting and catching up
The following group activities can also be enjoyable for nursing home residents:
- Birthday parties
- Bingo
- Bible study
- Group movies
It’s important to consider the interests and abilities of your parent when selecting activities.
Many nursing facilities for the elderly often struggle to provide their patients with engaging and fun activities, relying on safer options that may not be as enjoyable.
However, technology has expanded the possibilities for providing patients with exciting things to do. For example, an online birthday party can be just as fulfilling as an in-person celebration.
Incorporating sufficient enjoyable activities into your elderly parent’s schedule may be challenging. Still, finding ways to bring joy and engagement to their daily routine is important.
Plan the Visit To Align With the Best Times for Your Parent
It’s best to be considerate of the timing of your visits when seeing someone in a nursing home. For example, it may not be a good idea to visit a resident under medication, as they may be experiencing side effects or want to rest after taking their medicine.
Studies indicate that older people tend to experience discomfort in the first few hours after taking medication. As such, it’s best to plan your visit for when your parent is likely to feel more comfortable and able to fully engage with you.
Engage the nursing home in advance and talk to a staff member familiar with your parent’s energy levels and medication schedules to help you plan visits accordingly.
According to scientific research, older adults tend to have more energy in the mornings and after lunch. It’s recommended to visit during these times if their medication schedule permits it. Sharing a meal together during your visit can increase their appetite and allow you to connect.
Mind the Length of Your Visit and the Number of People You Tag Along
The duration of your visit should be based on the energy levels of your parent, their health status, and the nature of your relationship. However, visits that do not last longer than 30 minutes and involve fewer than three people are generally considered ideal for older individuals.
Try to avoid staying for too long or having too many people visit at once, as this can be disorienting for your senior parent and increase their risk of health issues.
If possible, limit yourself to two visits per day to give your parent enough time to rest and receive attention from others.
Prepare Conversation Starters and Enjoyment Ideas in Advance
Issues related to declining health can sometimes make it difficult to initiate a conversation with someone you have a close relationship with. As such, it can be helpful to plan ahead and think about what to say and what activities to engage in with your parent.
During conversations, encourage your loved one to reminisce about their younger, more energetic years, as this may bring cheer to their day.
Bring Gifts or Treats
Small tokens of affection, such as their favorite flowers or snack, can bring joy to your loved one and show them that you’re thinking of them. If you want to bring flowers for your loved one, make sure the nursing home allows it. Do Nursing Homes Allow You to Bring Flowers?
Additionally, you may want to consider bringing more comfortable clothing or gifts that can provide enjoyment and entertainment. These may include:
- Board games
- A CD player
- Adult coloring books
- Jigsaw puzzles
However, you’ll want to check with the nursing home to see what types of games are permitted.
Reading has been found to have numerous benefits for elderly people living in nursing homes. Some of these benefits include:
- Reducing the risk of Alzheimer’s disease
- Relieving stress
- Improving sleep
- Improving decision-making skills
As such, it may be a good idea to encourage the nursing home staff to provide their residents with access to their favorite books or magazines.
When visiting your parent, it’s important to keep them informed about current events happening in the world. However, focus on the positive aspects of these events, as disturbing or negative information may hurt their health. Remember, it’s best to prioritize their well-being during these visits.
Offer Physical Comfort
A simple touch or hug can provide a lot of reassurance to your loved one. If they’re comfortable with physical affection, try holding their hand or hugging them during your visit. Words of encouragement and support show empathy, which can help reinforce physical comfort.
Staying in a nursing home can be disorienting, tiring, and intimidating, so anything you can do to bring joy, peace, and comfort without compromising the health of those involved or damaging relationships can positively impact their health outcomes.
On top of physical affection, creating a homely feeling goes a long way in enhancing the physical comfort of your elderly parent.
Some things you can incorporate to make them feel more at home include:
- A small décor item that will not take up too much space, such as a portrait
- Framed photos of your parent’s favorite people, items, and pets
- A light, comforting blanket
- A comfortable pillow from their home collection
- Some flowers in a pretty vase or container
- A stuffed animal or a doll to hold or hug
Carry Out Simple Chores
Helping the elderly doesn’t have to be difficult — it’s just a matter of taking the time to understand their needs and address them before they even ask.
You can do the following to show support:
- Wash their items
- Make their beds
- Empty their bins
- Organize their drawers
- Fold their laundry
- Open their mail
- Keep them updated on the news
When you visit, help your loved one sit up or accompany them outside for fresh air. Offer to assist with any tasks or errands that they may be struggling with. This can make them feel supported and less overwhelmed.
It can be difficult for the elderly to ask for help, so being available and offering assistance can go a long way in supporting their well-being. Saying “I’m here if you need anything” can make a big difference for an elderly person.
Conclusion
Staying in regular contact with seniors living in nursing care facilities is important for both you and them. These interactions can help alleviate negative feelings of isolation and loneliness and improve their overall well-being and quality of life.
During these visits, you can also understand their needs and encourage them to engage in physical and mental health activities. It’s essential to properly plan these visits while considering your loved one’s health status and medications.
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