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As people get older, many things can happen that may affect us mentally and physically. These events can lead to behavioral changes and physical limitations that result in unusual mood patterns. Understanding these connections can help you react appropriately when your elderly parent refuses to do something, such as getting out of bed.
When an elderly parent can’t get out of bed, you must look out for physical signs, such as pain and discomfort. If there aren’t observable signs, gently and politely ask your parent if they feel any pain. If so, make them feel your willingness to help. Offer them reassurance and encouragement.
This article will share the possible reasons why your parent can’t get out of bed and the proper interventions. Read on!
How To Help an Elderly Parent Get Out of Bed
It can be alarming when your elderly parent can’t get out of bed, but you need to find out if they physically can’t or simply refuse to. Knowing the underlying issue can help you address it appropriately.
Here are the things you can do to help them get out of bed:
Look Out for Physical Signs
You can look out for several signs to determine why your parent suddenly refuses to get up. However, some of them are easier to spot than others. Check out the guide below:
They Have Physical Pain
Although rather unpleasant, it’s inevitable that every person will develop physical limitations due to aging. However, different people can experience such an event at different points in their lives.
If your previously energetic parent suddenly can’t get out of bed, tick the items that apply in the following checklist:
- Can they open their eyes? Elderly people typically develop sensitivity to light and become more susceptible to eye problems. Such a discomfort or change in their sense of sight can hinder them from getting up. Give them time to adjust and reassure them that you’re willing to wait and assist them.
- Do they frown or wince as they try to move? This is an obvious sign that they are in pain. The next step is to find out which part of their body is in pain.
- Do they respond to your call? Many elderly people gradually lose their sense of hearing. Give them a gentle rub on their hand or arm as you wake them up to avoid shocking them and causing panic.
- Are they breathing normally? Some elderly people may have difficulty breathing or even get a sudden bout of arrhythmia when they wake up in the morning. This could be due to underlying medical conditions, anxiety, or poor diet.
Dementia or Other Cognitive Issues Are Affecting Their Behavior
If they don’t exhibit any of the observable signs indicated above, then your elderly parent is most likely displaying behavioral changes due to other reasons.
Memory loss, cognitive issues, and depression are common among the elderly. Such mental health conditions can significantly affect their mood, and one symptom is the refusal to get out of bed. They might even insist on staying in bed all day.
One symptom of dementia among elderly patients is regression, wherein they behave as though they have aged back several years. Some severe cases may even cause your elderly parent to behave like a child.
They might have no physical pain, but they may become very stubborn about staying in bed. While it may be frustrating, it’s best to be gentle and polite when talking to your parent.
If you have a parent suffering from dementia, they may not wash regularly. I’ve written a guide on convincing your dementia parents to wash. Read it to learn how to overcome the problem. How to Persuade Someone With Dementia to Wash
Ask Your Parent How They Feel
Confirm your observations by asking your parent how they feel. Be specific about your questions to help them respond more easily. For instance, you may ask the following questions based on your earlier observations:
- Do your eyes hurt?
- Does your back hurt? Does your knee hurt?
- Can you hear me well?
- Do you have difficulty breathing?
If they show signs of regression, you can offer to do fun activities that you know they might enjoy. You can suggest going to their favorite restaurant or watching their favorite movie–anything that you know could encourage them to get out of bed.
Offer Help or Assistance
If your elderly parent has difficulty getting up due to physical pain, you can offer help or assistance. However, you must ensure they are open to such help from you or anybody. Some elderly parents may feel insecure and hesitant to ask anyone for help.
If that were the case for your parents, you could install a bed handrail to give them a sense of independence by allowing them to get up by themselves.
You can check out the Vive Bed Rail (available on Amazon.com). It’s made of aluminum for sturdy support with soft nylon handles for comfort. It also doubles as a security rail to prevent falls while your parents sleep.
If your parent insists on staying in bed, you should discuss with them the bad effect it has on their health. Doing so may persuade them to try harder. I’ve written about what happens when the elderly don’t leave the bed for too long in another article, which I recommend reading. What Happens When an Elderly Person Won’t Get Out of Bed?
Ask for Help From a Professional
Sometimes, there are medical conditions that are beyond your ability to address. If you’re not physically capable of assisting your parent out of bed or feel worried that you might worsen their pain in the process, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. You could hire a caregiver since they have more experience in such cases.
However, if your parent has severe physical and mental health issues, you can consult a medical professional to help you appropriately care for your parent. If your job and personal life make it challenging for you to do so, you may want to consider a nursing home.
Note that it can sometimes be dangerous to care for an elderly parent with physical or mental health issues if you don’t have sufficient medical knowledge and physical training, especially when you tend to feel emotional about the situation.
Consult your family members for available options and decide carefully. You can set your schedules accordingly if you decide on caring for your parent at home. The key is to make your parent feel comfortable and secure.
Final Thoughts
Taking care of an elderly parent is a rewarding but sometimes challenging experience for any adult child. Remember that aging is a process that happens to all of us. If your elderly parent can’t get out of bed, try to check first what you can offer to improve the situation before asking for professional help.
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