This post contains affiliate links.
It might be hard to admit because we love our parents, but some of them can become a burden as they (and you) grow older. Depending on your stage in life, you probably found some stressful work, have children on your own, or are even close to retiring, so what should you do when your elderly parents become a burden?
When elderly parents become a burden, it’s best to share the care of your parents with other siblings. If you have no choice but to take care of your elderly parents alone, try to find as much free time for yourself. Finally, there are professional facilities that can help you with caregiving.
In this article, I’ll mention some things you might try to do if your elderly parents become a burden you’re struggling to deal with alone.
How to Deal With Elderly Parents Who Became a Burden
It can be really tough sometimes when you have your own life to worry about, and on top of that, you’re tasked to be with your elderly parents almost daily. They often don’t understand why you have to move to another state for a better job opportunity or why you can’t be around them all the time.
Sooner or later, you start to realize your parents are a burden to you, and it’s really hard to deal with that, let alone admit something like that. Here are a few tips if you ever felt this way.
Don’t Take the Burden All Alone
Maybe you live closest to your elderly parents among all your siblings, and you all agree you should be the (only) one to take care of your parents. Over time, it just becomes too much of a burden, and you don’t (and usually can’t) do all the work alone. The thing is: you shouldn’t.
Just because you’re closest to your parents doesn’t mean you should carry that huge burden on your shoulders alone. All siblings should equally participate in their elderly parents’ caregiving.
Well, what if I don’t have any siblings, I hear you asking. That’s very common, sure enough. In that case, maybe your parents have younger siblings themselves who could at least help you from time to time.
Use Your Free Time for Yourself
In all that hustle and bustle of balancing your own life and taking care of your elderly parents, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself first. We give every fiber of our being to other people that we forget to focus on our interests and needs.
In a survey AgingCare conducted, as many as 53% of caregivers report spending more than 40 hours a week taking care of their elderly parents, which is on top of their work and personal life. Additionally, a significant percentage spend over 80 hours in caregiving. If that’s not a “burden,” nothing is.
In that context, it’s highly important that we find what we like to do and spend all the free time we can gather in a week doing something for ourselves. For some people, it’s walking in a park; for others, it’s reading or watching TV – whatever your “thing” is, it’ll be your much-needed mental respite.
Try To Reconnect With Your Elderly Parents
It can seem like hundreds of years ago when we were younger, and all we wanted to do was spend time with our parents. Over time, as we grew older ourselves, we lost that part of us somewhere along the way. Usually, that’s precisely why we begin to perceive our elderly parents as a burden.
What usually happens when we’re caregivers to our elderly parents is that the entire process of caregiving becomes a routine. It’s like our parents are strangers we need to spend time around. In those situations, all we need is to reconnect with our parents and find that spark from our childhood.
Try to spend every day not just taking care of your parents’ physical needs but also their (and your) emotional ones. The best way to do this is through:
- Daily conversations
- Doing some activities together, like walking or playing board games
- Finding the same hobbies, like drawing or cooking
- Going out and visiting other people
Many elderly parents think their life is over when they hit a certain age. These activities will bring some joy back to their lives and overcome negative thoughts. What to Do When an Elderly Parent Gives Up on Life
Look for Professional Assistance
If all else fails, many people turn to some form of professional assistance that’s available for the caregiving of older people. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, over time, you only get exhausted (in professional terms, it’s called caregiver burnout).
Apart from that, you also have your own battles to fight, jobs to find, families to support, and taking care of your parents is the last thing you need. It’s neither cheap nor mentally healthy.
Therefore, you might want to consider finding some professional caregiving options for your elderly parents.
The most common caregiving models or facilities include:
- In-home care
- Independent living
- Assisted Living
- Nursing homes
- Continuing care retirement communities (CCRC)
The right choice between all these facilities depends on your (and your parents’) personal preferences and how stable you are financially. Some parents don’t want to move from their homes, so they opt for in-home care, and a trained caregiver visits them at their place.
Should Children Take Care of Elderly Parents?
You might come to the conclusion that your elderly parents became a burden to you. So a natural question is: am I even required to take care of my elderly parents this much?
Children should take care of their elderly parents based on their possibilities and means. If taking care of your elderly parents means too little time for your own professional and private life, then you may need some additional assistance, which is usually of a professional nature.
Some of that burden you might be feeling when taking care of your elderly parents might be reduced by incorporating gadgets and safety products for the elderly into your life. I recommend STECHRO Caregiver Wireless Pager from Amazon.com. It’s perfect in case of an emergency, plus it’s waterproof and super durable.
Another great product is Vive Pivot and Patient Transfer Disk on Amazon.com. If your elderly parents have trouble moving from bed to wheelchair, or something of that nature, then this disk is perfect for them.
Final Thoughts
If you feel like your parents are a burden in this particular phase of your life, that’s completely normal – you’re not the only one.
Just remember to:
- Share the burden.
- Find some time for yourself.
- Reconnect with your parents.
- Find some professional help.
Tenuto Properties LLC dba Growing Gray USA is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. We also participate in other affiliate programs which compensate us for referring traffic.