What To Do When Elderly Parents Won’t Downsize


Caring for a large house becomes increasingly tasking for senior citizens. Accordingly, downsizing is important to simplify their lives during their golden years. But what options do you have when your elderly parents refuse to downsize?

If your elderly parents are unwilling to downsize, it’s important to hold an honest conversation with them and find out why. Alternatively, consider giving them time, seeking outside help, and decluttering the home. If they’re still able to live on their own, at times it’s good to let them be.

This article will provide some valuable tips on navigating the challenge of elderly parents refusing to downsize. Read on for more.

Helpful Tips for When Elderly Parents Refuse Downsize

Downsizing is an essential part of elderly care. There are numerous challenges associated with your elderly parents maintaining their home as they grow older. This can range from an increased risk of tripping over the junk to mounting costs related to maintaining a large house. 

However, many elderly parents tend to resist shifting to a smaller home, as highlighted on the AgingCare website.

Below are a few helpful tips on some of the steps you can take if your elderly parents are adamant about not downsizing. 

Have an Open Conversation With Your Parents

If your elderly parents are not willing to downsize, as a first step, it is crucial to understand where they are coming from. As explained by the elder care experts at Landmark Health, some seniors refuse to downsize because they do not like being told what to do by their children. 

Therefore, one of the main reasons why senior citizens refuse to downsize is when their children make these decisions unilaterally. The result of such decisions is that your elderly parents may feel like they are losing their independence or like less of a person.

It is, therefore, important to include them in the decision to downsize. This is where an open and honest discussion with your parents comes in handy. Help them understand why they need to move without being overbearing. How to Start Conversations With Your Elderly Parents

Find Out Why They Don’t Want To Move

Another reason why your elderly parents may be reluctant to downsize is that seniors are often reluctant to do so for fear of moving away from the familiar. 

The National Institute of Aging explains that most elderly citizens prefer to stay in their homes during the latter years. Leaving the familiar surroundings of a place where your parents have lived their entire life may thus be frightening. 

In other instances, your parents’ unwillingness to downsize may be due to other concerns, such as the costs associated with moving. In any case, it is difficult to dispel these worries or concerns if you do not know they exist. 

Finding out why your parents are not willing to move is therefore crucial. 

Give Them Time and Then Try Again

As the adage goes, if at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Trying to convince your parents to downsize can sometimes feel like flogging a dead horse. However, there is some wisdom in giving them some time to reconsider this on their own. 

As your parents grow older, their needs are bound to change, and some fears that can cloud their decision could pass with time. For instance, your parents will likely require more and more support as they grow older, and holding on to personal property will thus become less of a priority for them. 

Some of the factors that make them reluctant to move are also bound to change with time. Therefore, I recommend waiting a few months or a year and then asking your parents to downsize again. The results may surprise you. 

Take Steps To Declutter the House

If your parents are unwilling to move, you cannot force them. However, you can take steps to declutter the house and eliminate risks to their personal safety. Additionally, decluttering also helps to reduce some of the items your parents are attached to and can make the process of downsizing easier. 

According to elder care experts at Clearwater Living, the downsizing process should start with decluttering. This entails eliminating some of the unused items in the house. Save for simplifying the downsizing process later, there are other numerous benefits of decluttering, as summarized below: 

  • Reduces the risk of injury from falls.
  • Allows easier navigation for your elderly parents.
  • Decluttering frees up floor space and lets you store frequently used items in easy-to-reach places.
  • It helps to improve mental health by reducing stress and anxiety.
  • It helps to eliminate allergens such as dust mites and mold that may cause health problems.

By decluttering, you can improve your parent’s living conditions and reduce some of the stress, anxiety, and risks associated with maintaining and living in a large house.

Seek Outside Help

It is common for parents to become more stubborn as they age. Remember, it is not easy for a parent to see their child grow older and not need them anymore. This becomes even more difficult for your parents when they feel like their child is telling them what to do. 

Therefore, it is important to consider seeking outside help from a professional, close friend, or relative. 

The experts at Aging Outreach Services recommend reaching out to other family members or close friends to mediate on your behalf. 

It is also essential to ensure that whoever you seek help from is someone your parents’ respect and are willing to listen to. Start with those who are closest to your parents. 

Alternatively, reach out to a professional. Your parents may be more responsive to the advice provided by a professional. Furthermore, a professional can advise you on how to best move forward in such a scenario.

Leave Your Parents Be

There are numerous advantages to downsizing. However, these benefits should not make you blind to how precious your relationship with your parents is. If your parents are physically able to stay in their house, then I recommend letting them. 

As the Senior Navigator website explains, your concerns about downsizing are not worth ruining your relationship with them. Getting pushy may also result in ill feelings or cause a rift with your parents. 

Meanwhile, you can plan ahead for eventual downsizing. If you are worried about your parent’s safety, I recommend hiring in-home care so your parents can live their last years in peace and in the comfort of their own homes. 

Final Thoughts

When making plans that will affect your parents during their glory years, it is vital to exercise patience and keep their feelings and fears in mind. Admittedly, the right approach will depend on your unique situation. 

I recommend considering the above valuable tips if your elderly parents refuse to downsize.

tatorchip

Roger L. "Chip" Mitchell is the owner of Growing Gray USA. Having worked with seniors and their families for over a decade as the owner of ComForCare Home Care of Northwest Georgia, Chip is able to share his insights working with aging senior adults and their adult children who are now finding themselves in a new role as caregivers for their parents.

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