What To Do When You Hate Being a Caregiver


Although rewarding, being a long-term caregiver can prove overwhelming, especially if done consistently without a break. And as much as you love caring for your aging loved one, it’s perfectly normal to get tired and gradually disinterested in this noble yet demanding service. So what can you do when you hate being a caregiver? 

There are several actions you can take If you hate being a caregiver. First, you can try talking with your senior loved one and express your concerns. You can also share the caregiving tasks with a family member or hire a professional caregiver to provide assistance. 

If you’re still reading, chances are you’re looking for ways to lessen the caregiving burden. Read on as we examine some of the options you have if full-time caregiving isn’t working for you. 

Why Do Some People Hate Caregiving?

Over 40 million Americans currently care for adult family members and friends. However, not all friends and family members are comfortable being full-time caregivers due to work or school demands, prior commitments, or just the challenging nature of the job. 

Caregiving can be described as the act of providing physical and emotional assistance for individuals struggling with illness, age-related limitations, injury, or disability. Caregivers can be family members to those they care for, or they can be hired out. 

While this sounds simple at first thought, caregiving requires a lot of energy, effort, and commitment. In the process of doing so, the caregiver can rapidly become exhausted as the sheer mental and physical energy can be enormously overwhelming. 

They say it takes a special kind of person to become a caregiver. Maybe it’s true. 

Most people who hate caregiving are usually forced into the situation with little time or resources to adjust. In many cases, the children of aging parents or grandparents despise it the most. Because finances are limited and diseases run rampant in our world, these adult children feel huge pressure to provide care for their parents as time goes on. 

Occasionally, you run into issues where someone has chosen to be a full-time caregiver for work and ends up hating it. In these cases, usually, it’s because the caregiver didn’t realize what they were getting into. Often, caregiving is significantly harder than initially thought to be upfront.

And then some resent taking care of their elderly parents only because the time investment interferes with their regular job, causing a financial crunch. If that’s you, check out my article on getting paid for caregiving elderly parents. I’ve highlighted how you can take advantage of state-administered programs and your parent’s insurance coverage to get monetary compensation for taking care of your parents. Can You Pay Yourself for Taking Care of Elderly Parents?

What You Can Do if You Hate Being a Caregiver

If you’ve gotten into a situation where you’re acting as a caregiver and no longer want to do so, a few options are available. 

While the most obvious option may be to stop being a caregiver, this isn’t always ideal, especially if you’re in a situation where you are taking care of your loved ones. Walking away is often not an option, and that is exactly why you have to come up with alternative ways to provide the much-needed care to your aging family member(s).

Here are a few things you can consider if you hate being a caregiver. 

Talk to the Person You’re Caring For

While there are many ways that you can handle a situation like this, one of the best ways is to simply approach the person you’re caring for with vulnerability. However, note that this option only applies when the person is mentally stable. 

Vulnerability goes a long way in relationships like this, particularly if you are caring for your aging parents. While the conversation doesn’t always go as planned, more often than not, it ends up being helpful. 

The best thing to do in this situation is to be upfront with your parents and discuss other solutions. Perhaps someone else can help out, or an additional caregiver can be hired.

Share Roles With Another Family Member

Attempting to do everything on your own is a surefire way to get exhausted and overwhelmed when caring for a loved one. As such, you should consider involving other family members in the caregiving process.

For instance, you can come up with a caregiving arrangement with your siblings and close family members on how the roles can be evenly distributed.

Unfortunately, splitting roles might not work for every family as some members are either too far away or disinterested in helping out. 

It will be upon you to liaise with friends and family that actually want to help out. If this option doesn’t work out, then you probably have to consider outsourcing to a professional caregiver. 

Create a Better Schedule

Another option you have available is to create a better schedule. Often, when someone hates being a caregiver, it’s because the person is constantly providing care. They often feel like they must give up their entire lives to care for their parents or other family members. 

One thing that helps with this is to create a schedule. This way, the parent still feels taken care of, but the caregiver feels like they can have part of their life back. While this might not seem like a major change, it greatly affects how the caregiver feels about continuing to do the job. 

Hire A Professional Caregiver

When all else fails, you may need to look into hiring another caregiver to replace you or at least perform the bulk of the work. While this process may be difficult, especially if you are taking care of your parents, it may be the best option if the caregiving arrangement doesn’t seem to work. 

You can find a caregiver by posting jobs online or on websites specializing in caregiving services.

Final Thoughts

It can be challenging to find yourself in a caregiving situation that you don’t want to be in. And if you feel overwhelmed by being a caregiver, it’s best to consider other alternatives. 

You can try talking with other members of your family to help out and even request your aging loved one to be a bit understanding of the weight on your shoulders. 

Alternatively, you can choose to outsource to an experienced professional to ensure your loved one receives the best care when you aren’t around.

tatorchip

Roger L. "Chip" Mitchell is the owner of Growing Gray USA. Having worked with seniors and their families for over a decade as the owner of ComForCare Home Care of Northwest Georgia, Chip is able to share his insights working with aging senior adults and their adult children who are now finding themselves in a new role as caregivers for their parents.

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