This post contains affiliate links.
There are many ways to respond to an unhappy elderly mother. However, before doing so, you need to find out the source of her unhappiness.
When determining what to do when your elderly mother is never happy, identifying the cause of unhappiness is critical. In some cases, an elderly mother may be unhappy due to serious illnesses such as postmenopause, dementia, or Alzheimer’s.
In this article, I’ll discuss why your elderly mother may be unhappy and some of the best ways to respond and help her improve her mood. I will also discuss how dementia caused by Alzheimer’s affects elderly mothers.
How To Improve Your Elderly Mother’s Mood
It may not be easy, but there are ways to deal with an unhappy parent.
Treat Your Elderly Mother With Compassion
Birth and death are a fact of life, and we will all go through this inevitable cycle. The moments between these opposites are essential, especially events near the end. Our elderly mother deserves our patience to care for her just like she cared for us.
Taking care of our mothers is not something that we “should” do but something we “love” to do. And taking care of her is a form of reciprocating the love she gave us.
Our actions must not come from duty but love. Thus, our first step is to inquire and act.
Talk With Your Family About Helping Out Your Elderly Mother
If your elderly mother has Dementia caused by Alzheimer’s, is overwhelmed by household work, or needs help managing things, there must be a family meeting to delegate some of the work.
As much as possible, everyone should participate, including the adult grandchildren. Taking care of your elderly mother should be divided to prevent the exhaustion of one family member.
Ensure That Your Elderly Mother Is Eating Well and Staying Hydrated
There must always be food and water for sufficient nutrition for your elderly mother. Her body is declining, and ensuring she always has access to enough food and water would help her greatly.
So, you may consider helping your mother get groceries, find easy, quick recipes, or prep meals for her. Moving foodstuffs to a more accessible area in the home might help if mobility is an issue.
Make Your Mother’s Living Environment More Accessible and Safe
If your elderly mother is unhappy due to a limited range of mobility, making her environment safer and easier to navigate will do wonders to improve her mood.
Make her home entirely safe by installing Amazon Basics Grab Bars (available on Amazon.com) in areas like the bathroom. If you have stairs, placing something like this Scieo Staircase Handrail (available on Amazon.com) near the stairs can help you prevent accidents.
Give Your Elderly Mother Affection
Unhappy elderly parents might be confused or lonely. Showing your mother how much you care might be all she needs to feel better.
A simple hug can reach your mother emotionally. It will reduce her stress and anxiety, calm her, and make her feel loved.
In addition to affection, you also need to show your elderly mother respect. I’ve recommended some ideas in another guide. Click on the link to learn more. 9 Ways to Show Respect for Elderly Parents
Causes of An Elderly Mother’s Unhappiness
Elderly parents face new challenges as they age, which can be frustrating and difficult, potentially spoiling their mood.
So, let’s look at some of the most common reasons an elderly mother might have a sour mood all the time:
Loneliness
As our parents’ age, they have fewer opportunities to make new friends. If mobility is an issue, they may not even be able to get out of their home, limiting their social lives.
Finding ways to help your elderly mother meet new people, make new friends, or engage in a hobby or activity can significantly improve their quality of life and mood.
Pain
One of the most common causes of unhappiness in an elderly parent is pain. Pain can make anyone grumpy, but if your elderly mother has constantly aching joints, health issues such as diabetes or high blood pressure, or an autoimmune disease, it may be hard for them to pretend to be happy.
If your mother is in pain, helping her get to doctor appointments can help. Proper medication and a healthy lifestyle can correct some of her discomforts, helping your mother get through the day-to-day without getting frustrated with her declining mobility and constant aches.
Grief
If your elderly mother has lost any of her friends, family, or her partner due to old age, she may experience a very long period of mourning.
While the grief of losing a loved one is one of the most intense feelings of sadness that humans can experience, when you are elderly, losing someone from your age group can be very frightening as well.
Loss can bring up all sorts of emotions in older adults. Therapy, compassion, and social interaction are the only ways you and your elderly parent can move on and keep a positive attitude.
Hormonal Imbalance Due to Menopause
We have 50 hormones that act synchronously by carrying messages throughout our body to our organs, muscles, skins, and other issues. An imbalance in these hormones can significantly affect our elderly mother’s mood and personality.
Generally, hormonal imbalance in older women is natural, and it occurs when older women stop producing estradiol and progesterone during the menopausal period. Both of these hormones are necessary for female reproduction.
According to this study, 9-16% of women over 65 and 10% over 70 continue to experience menopausal symptoms, even after menopause is over.
These symptoms include mood swings, which can drastically affect your mother’s mood. Even if the mood swings aren’t too severe, having to deal with many years of menopausal symptoms can be very frustrating, which may make your mother unhappy.
What Is Menopause?
Menopause is a time of life in women when she won’t be able to bear any children, and there are three stages of menopause:
- Perimenopause is the period where it leads to menopause.
- Menopause is when a female won’t have menstruation for 12 months.
- Postmenopause is the time after menopause when women haven’t experienced menstruation for over a year.
According to this study, women in postmenopause still experience menopause symptoms.
What Are the Symptoms of Postmenopause?
According to this study, these are the symptoms of postmenopause:
- Hot flushes
- irritability
- mood swings
- insomnia
- difficulty concentrating
- mental confusion
- stress incontinence
- urge incontinence
- osteoporotic symptoms
- depression
- headache
- vasomotor symptoms
- Insomnia
How To Treat Postmenopausal Symptoms?
In the advancement of science, Hormone therapy is one of the options for treating symptoms of menopause. However, according to this study, hormonal treatment is not advisable for women above 65 because it would increase the risk of developing cardiovascular disease.
Family Intervention as an Alternative to Hormonal Treatment
Since Hormone therapy is not advisable, according to this study, the better way to manage the symptoms of postmenopause is lifestyle intervention. If your elderly mother suffers from postmenopausal symptoms, family intervention to optimize her lifestyle is the best combination.
These are the given lifestyle optimization based on the said study:
- smoking cessation,
- losing weight (if indicated),
- limiting or avoiding alcohol,
- maintaining adequate levels of vitamin D and calcium,
- eating a healthy diet,
- Regular Physical activity
- Nonpharmacologic therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy or hypnosis
- acupuncture
Dementia
Besides postmenopause, one of the most common challenges of the elderly mother is brain-related decline, such as dementia caused by Alzheimer’s.
In one study, researchers defined dementia as an umbrella term describing a set of symptoms causing a person to have changes in brain function that interfere with the ability to function and do everyday activities.
According to the World Health Organization, Alzheimer’s disease causes 60-70% of dementia, 20% of Vascular Dementia, 10-25% of Lewy Body, and 10%-15% of Frontotemporal Dementia.
In addition, a study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention proved that those at least 65 years old are greatly affected by this disease.
Alzheimer’s Disease
Alzheimer’s disease happens when there is an abnormal increase of protein in the brain. It is a progressive disease that blocks chemicals in the cellular pathways that cause neurons in the brain to die.
According to the National Institute on Aging, there is no definite answer regarding what causes Alzheimer’s. However, according to the institute, these may be the following causes of Alzheimer’s:
- Genes
- Environment
- Lifestyle factors
- Heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes, or obesity
What Are the Symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease?
- Memory problems cause them to ask repetitive questions, forget the name of friends or even family members, and have more frequent memory lapses.
- Difficulty communicating by having trouble finding words when speaking, forgetting words for everyday objects, and increasingly forgetting common words.
- Impaired judgment
- Mood or personality changes are exemplified by socially withdrawing from family and friends. They also experience anxiety and frustration, especially after memory lapses and uncharacteristic fear of new environments or people.
Final Thoughts
There are multiple reasons why your elderly mother might never be happy. Understanding her before acting is the first step toward healing. Our actions, as children, must always come from love.
Causes of unhappiness, such as loneliness, pain, grief, postmenopause, dementia, and Alzheimer’s, have a long list of symptoms. She cannot do it alone with all her pain. Family intervention or prevention and a lifestyle change is the best way to manage her symptoms and make her happy again.
Tenuto Properties LLC dba Growing Gray USA is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. We also participate in other affiliate programs which compensate us for referring traffic.