Here’s What Happens When Parents Go to a Nursing Home


It’s painful to see your parents come to that age where doing the simplest tasks is challenging. That’s when many begin to consider the possibility of moving their parents to a nursing home. But what exactly happens when parents go to a nursing home

In a nursing home, your parents will be provided with the needed care and treatment, all while having the option to interact with other residents. However, nursing homes are not for everyone. There are alternatives, like adult day centers, which might be more effective for your parents.

In this article, I will discuss the pros and cons of living in a nursing home and what to expect when moving into one. I will also mention some alternatives to living in a nursing home and ways to decide if they’re the right option for your parents.

Life in a Nursing Home: What Is It Like?

Seeing your parents getting older is tough for anyone, and it is natural to want to provide them with the best comfort they can get in their golden age.

Many don’t even consider putting their parents in a nursing home, as the living cost in nursing homes can be a little pricey, and also because they think their parents’ comfort in their own house is unmatchable.

While living in a nursing home requires some getting used to, it also has its benefits. You might ask yourself, what is it like to live in one, and what are the good sides of living in a nursing home?

There Are Medical Professionals Available at All Times

Knowing that your parent is in good hands while you’re not physically with them is priceless. 

And the best part about nursing homes is that there are trained medical professionals ready to attend to your loved one at all times. 

Nurses are always there and work shifts; their job is to monitor the residents during their daily activities. At the same time, medical doctors and physical therapists have their scheduled time spent at the nursing home.

If residents of the nursing homes have any concerns about their health, they usually talk to the family doctor first. A specialist is called if there is a need for further examination and treatment.

Check out my article discussing how often nursing homes take the vitals of residents. It’ll give you a comprehensive overview of the medical advantages of living in a nursing home. How Often Are Vital Signs Taken in a Nursing Home?

Older people are prone to injuring themselves as their sense of balance and vision gradually worsens. 

Having people whose job is to watch over them and ensure that if the accidents happen, they are dealt with promptly is worth every penny you pay.

Your Parent Won’t Be Lonely

Your older parent will probably feel lonely sometimes, whether they admit to it or not. Old age comes with loneliness and seeing everyone going on with their lives while your abilities decline is hard to deal with.

Coming to peace with aging is challenging, let alone if you had an active work life, and now the day’s main activity is to watch bingo.

There is a way to help your parents feel less alone, and the only proper way would be for them to be surrounded by people of the same age, and what is a better way to do that than living in a nursing home?

Not only will the people of their same age group understand them and relate to them better, but you’ll also feel less pressure, as you’ll have the peace of mind that your parent isn’t alone when you’re not paying them a visit.

However, this is not an excuse to stop visiting your parent. Check out my article talking about the best time to visit people in a nursing home to know when to schedule a visit. 4 Best Times to Visit People in a Nursing Home

Lots of Spare Time

Life happens fast, and there is usually not enough time to dedicate to yourself and to discover your passions. Your parents probably feel the same, as raising a kid isn’t the easiest job out there, and it’s a job for life.

Living in a nursing home will devoid your parents of all their responsibilities, even if it’s just mundane, everyday stuff like taking out the trash.

When you’re older, everything becomes more challenging, and more rest is needed after doing even the smallest tasks. 

Nursing home employees are people whose job is to help those in need, so you’ll know your parents are in good hands.

And who knows, with all that time to spare, they may even discover a passion they didn’t realize they had before, like cooking or drawing.

Sense of Belonging

It is essential to feel like you belong somewhere, and that need doesn’t go away even after you get older. 

In a nursing home, your parents will be surrounded by people the same age as them, and that alone is enough for them to feel like they aren’t alone and that they’re part of a group.

Nursing homes have many planned activities for residents, such as dancing classes, chess nights, and even courses for learning new languages. Participating in those activities will make your parent feel useful and appreciated as an equal group member.

Sense of Purpose

Humans need to have a sense of purpose even after they retire. Some people try gardening, some adopt new hobbies, and some take care of their grandchildren.

If your older parent doesn’t take an interest in any activities, nursing homes might help with that.

Workers in the nursing home will take time to know each one of their residents well enough and recommend some activities that may be to their liking.

Trying out baking or painting will encourage your parents’ creative skills and make them feel like valuable members of society.

Is a Nursing Home the Best Option for Your Parents?

Deciding if a nursing home is the best choice for your parent is a tough decision. 

There is no correct answer to that question, and what may work for one person might not be ideal for another. 

It is best to keep your options open and discuss the potential options with your parents while considering their wishes and needs.

Now, you may wonder if there are downsides to living in a nursing home and if there are any potential concerns your parent might have. Well, let me explain.

Nursing Homes Are Expensive

Nursing homes tend to be a little pricey, which means deciding whether a nursing home is worth it can be a tricky choice to make.

Even though there are many benefits nursing homes offer, such as providing your parent with fresh meals and the required medical attention, sometimes it is just not worth it. 

In some instances, your parent might find the home care option better and much more affordable.

According to Senior Living, a private room in a nursing home can cost up to $9,034 per month. 

Shared rooms cost a bit less, but at the same time, your parent might not feel comfortable with sharing a room with complete strangers, and on top of that, it just might not have that “homey” feeling.

Your Parent Might Feel Abandoned

With all the commodities that nursing homes offer, your parent might still feel abandoned there.

Even though it mostly isn’t rational, many think of nursing homes as places where you’re forgotten and abandoned by your family and friends.

However, you should never disregard your parent’s worries and wishes because it is their life we’re talking about, and they have the right to make decisions about it.

It is essential to talk with your parents and create a safe space for them to discuss their concerns without hesitation. Making your parent part of the conversation will play a massive role in streamlining the transition to a nursing home. 

Some Seniors Like To Do Things on Their Own Terms

Older people can be very particular about how they like things to be done. 

Most of them have a strict routine they want to follow no matter what, whether that is a bed routine or a regular walk in the park in the afternoon. Either way, it should be respected.

However, nursing homes tend to make people feel as if their freedom is taken away, as most activities are planned beforehand. 

People have the right to stick to their habits to some extent, but even if it’s allowed, they must first ask their caregivers for permission, which most people are not very fond of.

Nursing Homes Can Be Overcrowded

Let’s be honest; everyone likes their peace and quiet sometimes. Well, in nursing homes, that can be hard to achieve.

Nursing homes usually have many residents, most of whom live in shared spaces, as private rooms are known to be costly. Besides the shared room, there is a common area where everyone gathers and talks. 

All that leaves little to no space for someone to be left alone with their thoughts. To many people, that is hard to get accustomed to and may even lead to a decline in their mental health.

Not only is alone time important for mental health, but it is also vital for overall well-being, as a study shows a higher Covid-19 prevalence in overcrowded nursing homes.

Your Parent Might Not Feel at Home

Many people can’t grasp the idea of a nursing home being their home, and it usually takes some time to get used to living in one.

Moving from a place you used to call home, where even a crack in the wall has a story that’s behind it, to a shared space with complete strangers is a process that is difficult for anyone.

Even though most nursing homes try their best to bring that “homey” feeling to them, it is hard to accomplish that, as the word home represents something different for everyone.

Some people don’t mind the new circumstances and get accustomed to a different living situation rather quickly, while some never get past it. 

Ask your parents how they feel about moving to a nursing home before you bombard them with all the positive sides of nursing homes to ensure they feel like their opinion counts. 

Are There Other Options Besides Moving to a Nursing Home?

Before recommending your parents move to a nursing home, it is wise to check out other options, especially if they’re used to living independently.

There are ways for your parents to feel independent and get the help they need without having to move away from their homes.

Hiring Caregivers for Home Care

Instead of moving to a nursing home immediately, you should hire a professional caregiver to come to your parent’s house and assist them with everything they might need.

That way, your parents will gain the confidence to live by themselves, all while having someone to talk to daily.

As there are no mandatory working hours, time spent with caregiving professionals is flexible, and you can always add more hours if you feel the need to.

Investing in Home Safety Products

Older people are more likely to get injured while they’re alone, and you can prevent that by thinking ahead and buying home safety products.

Accidents mainly occur when they don’t have anything to grab onto while standing up.

By buying a product like the Lunderg Non-Slip Bed Railings (available on Amazon.com), you’ll be preventing one of the most common accidents in the elderly, falling from trying to get in or out of bed.

Recommending Adult Day Care Centers

While a nursing home may be too much of a commitment, an adult daycare center might be the perfect solution.

Adult daycare centers provide their users with programs that get them the needed help, all while they go home at the end of the day. And not only that, but they also organize social gatherings, so their users interact and socialize with people of the same age group.

That way, your parents will get the best of both worlds as they’ll get to sleep in the comfort of their own homes while getting the assistance they require. 

Final Thoughts

Deciding whether a nursing home is the best option for your parents isn’t a decision only you should make.

Their feelings about moving to such a facility are fundamental, as they’re the ones who’ll be living there. If they decide to move there, it is crucial that you still pay them regular visits to ensure they don’t feel abandoned by their family.

However, if they are not very fond of permanently moving to a nursing home, you should introduce them to other alternatives, such as adult daycare centers.

tatorchip

Roger L. "Chip" Mitchell is the owner of Growing Gray USA. Having worked with seniors and their families for over a decade as the owner of ComForCare Home Care of Northwest Georgia, Chip is able to share his insights working with aging senior adults and their adult children who are now finding themselves in a new role as caregivers for their parents.

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