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Maintaining a household can become challenging as we age. However, according to the Administration for Community Living (ACL), approximately 27% of retirement-aged people in the United States live alone. But why do older adults want to live alone?
Many elderly people want to live alone to maintain a sense of independence and control over their living situation. Avoiding unwanted social interactions, maintaining valuable relationships with neighbors, and being able to travel without assistance are also influential factors in this decision.
This article will address the primary reasons older adults might choose to live alone instead of living with their children or moving into an assisted living facility. Understanding these reasons is a great way to start a conversation with a loved one about assisting them in their old age without taking away their sense of worth and independence.
1. To Maintain Their Independence
The primary reason older adults want to live alone is to maintain a sense of independence.
The ability to care for yourself, maintain a household, prepare meals, or dress without help is closely associated with a sense of self-pride. But while pride can be a virtue, it can also become dangerous when it conflicts with your best interests.
Unfortunately, maintaining an independent lifestyle can often be more important to elderly people than meeting their needs. Many associate caregivers or assisted living with a loss of independence and a sinking sense of self-worth.
So, how can retirement-aged individuals keep some of their independence after moving into an assisted living facility or hiring a caregiver?
Independence Is Encouraged at Assisted Living Facilities
Regardless of a person’s health needs and physical limitations, most assisted living communities encourage residents to enjoy and exercise their independence.
This encouragement might take the form of offering an on-site restaurant where residents can choose their meals or allowing residents to select which activities they’ll enjoy that week.
Additionally, many of these facilities and communities allow residents to live in their apartments, allowing them to decorate and maintain their homes as they like. While staff might help with basic cleaning or homemaking tasks, they’re not there to order residents around!
It’s also essential for older adults to remember that assisted living facilities aren’t prisons. Most allow residents to come and go whenever they’d like, simply offering assistance whenever possible.
Of course, seniors with in-home caregivers enjoy just as much independence.
Staying Independent With an In-Home Caregiver
Those who would prefer to continue living in their homes instead of moving into an assisted living community can enjoy the benefits of living alone and the advantages of assisted living by hiring an in-home caregiver.
Personal caregivers ensure that older adults have consistent access to medications, doctor’s visits, and home-cooked meals. But they can also help senior citizens stay on top of home maintenance tasks like paying bills or mowing the lawn.
As such, in-home care can help older adults retain their independence while also attending to their needs.
2. To Keep Control Over Their Living Situation
Being independent allows us to exercise control over our actions, choices, and outcomes. This correlation develops early in our lives and is reinforced as we grow older.
For example, when children are old enough to begin voicing preferences, they are generally old enough to begin dressing themselves. This development allows children to practice independence by dressing without help while also exerting some control by choosing what to wear.
But when you lose your sense of independence, the feeling that you’re no longer in control of your life can grow stronger. This loss of control can be devastating, regardless of age or ability.
Living alone allows older adults to exert optimal control over their day-to-day lives. After all, no one can tell them what to do or when to do it, so they’re entirely responsible for how they spend their time.
Most elderly people assume caregivers or assisted living facilities will control their every move. However, these options don’t necessarily mean that your elderly loved one loses all control over their living situation.
Maintaining Control Without Living Alone
Just because you hire a caregiver or move into an assisted living facility doesn’t mean you’ve given up all control over how you spend your days. In fact, both options allow for plenty of freedom in terms of activities, meals, and social interactions.
Many older adults who live in assisted living communities get to plan their days according to their preferences. So, if you’d like to take an afternoon walk outdoors or explore the on-property activities, you’re more than welcome to do so.
Receiving personalized care at home can be just as rewarding. In-home caregivers can help you with tasks you find difficult, like using modern TV sets or computers. They can help you by switching on your favorite TV shows and playing your preferred music.
Though professional caregivers help with daily tasks and monitor your medications, their primary goal is to help people enjoy their lives while remaining safe and comfortable.
In short, switching from living alone or living in an independent senior community to assisted living or hiring a caregiver doesn’t mean losing control over your life.
Hiring an in-home caregiver or moving to an assisted living facility can help you gain more control over your day-to-day activities, as there’s always someone around to help you.
3. Fear of Meeting New People
Many retirement-aged people living alone experience extreme loneliness. Even those who regularly interact with neighbors or family can experience social isolation.
Unfortunately, social isolation can significantly affect physical and mental health. Older people who live alone and don’t regularly interact with others can inadvertently increase their risk of developing these health issues.
- Dementia or Alzheimer’s
- High blood pressure
- Immune system problems
The longer someone goes without interacting with others, the more challenging it can be to jump back into forming and maintaining relationships.
As such, some older adults prefer to live alone because they’re afraid of meeting new people after long periods of social isolation.
Living in an assisted living community allows individuals to participate in social events and make new friends. In addition, assisted living community staff members are typically patient and kind, making them good company too.
Going from living alone to living in a community full of helpful and cheerful people can do wonders for an older person’s overall health.
The same is true of hiring an in-home caregiver. Those who take up this profession tend to be excellent listeners who treat their charges with kindness and empathy.
If your older loved one lives alone out of fear of interacting with new people, take them for a local assisted living community tour or have them interview in-home caregivers alongside you. This process allows them to see the benefits of these services.
Though it might be difficult for them to open up at first, you might be surprised to see how quickly they relax and embrace the opportunity to make new friends.
4. To Maintain Relationships With Local Community Members
Selling the home you’ve lived in for the last several decades is a huge change, and some older adults may be particularly close to their neighbors and local community members.
Moving into an assisted living facility can seem daunting, as it can be hard to maintain those local relationships after moving away.
But older people don’t have to cut ties with nearby friends when moving into an assisted living community. Additionally, having an in-home caregiver can make spending time with nearby friends and loved ones easier.
Assisted Living Facilities Almost Always Allow Visitors
While some assisted living facilities take extra precautions when accepting visitors for health reasons, nearly all have an open visitation policy. This policy allows your elderly loved ones to enjoy visits from friends and family whenever they’d like.
And because many assisted living communities have on-site chauffeur services, older adults living in these communities might also be able to visit their friends. Of course, scheduling such visits ahead of time is preferable.
However, older adults who are particularly close with their neighbors but live alone might want to hire an in-home caregiver instead.
In-Home Caregivers Can Make It Easy To Visit Friends
Seniors with mobility issues can find that spending time with their neighbors or local community members becomes an insurmountable challenge. In this way, living alone does more harm than good regarding social interactions.
But with the aid of an in-home caregiver, older adults can enjoy effortless transportation and assistance in visiting their favorite people. That’s because many in-home caregivers provide chauffeur services in addition to personal care.
These transportation services aren’t just limited to visiting friends. Elderly people can use these services to visit their family members, their favorite haunts, and local attractions.
5. To Keep Their Ability To Travel to Favorite Locations
Being able to hop into your car and travel to the local supermarket, cinema, or park is a wonderful feeling. The ability to travel to your favorite locations whenever the mood strikes is quite freeing.
Vision difficulties, slower reaction times, and mobility challenges can make driving impossible. Losing the ability to drive around can be a crushing blow to your sense of independence.
But relying on others to take you to your favorite places can feel embarrassing, and some older adults prefer staying home instead of asking for help.
That said, having an in-home caregiver or moving into an assisted living community can actually help the person travel more. So, if your loved one is concerned about losing their ability to travel around town, you’ll want to discuss the following options with them.
Personal Caregivers Can Become Trusted Chauffeurs
In-home caregivers can do much more than help your loved one maintain their healthcare needs. These hardworking and friendly professionals can also help older adults visit their favorite places!
While not all personal caregivers provide driving services, many are happy to help their clients visit local destinations.
If you or your loved one are considering hiring an in-home caregiver, inquire about their transportation services. You might be surprised to learn that they’re happy to drive far more places than the doctor’s office or grocery store.
Some Assisted Living Options Allow Residents To Keep Their Cars
Older people still capable of driving might also use this ability as a defense against living in an assisted living facility. After all, many older adults fear that moving into an assisted living community means they won’t be able to own or drive their own car.
However, many assisted living communities allow residents to keep their cars. Others might provide chauffeur services instead. These services include planned outings to exciting destinations and local trips to movie theaters, beauty parlors, and restaurants.
The bottom line is that older adults can still go out and enjoy themselves, even if they’re no longer living alone or driving their own vehicles.
The key is to spend time researching assisted living options, allowing your loved one to provide plenty of input into the one that best suits their needs and personal preferences.
Discussing Assisted Living With a Loved One
An older person might want to live alone for many reasons. But living alone isn’t always the best option at that age.
While addressing your concerns regarding safety, health care routines, or their ability to care for themselves, it’s vital to allow your elderly family members to express their own concerns. By communicating properly, you can conclude their future living situation.
Taking the time to listen to and empathize with someone’s fears helps them feel like more of a participant in the conversation. It’s also a great starting point for discussing how some of these fears might be unfounded.
For example, many older people fear moving into an assisted living facility, believing the facility will strip their independence away. However, most assisted living facilities provide apartments to residents, allowing them to maintain their living space with near-complete independence.
No matter why your loved ones are hesitant to accept assisted living or an in-home caregiver service, speaking patiently and logically about your reasons for considering these services can convince them to accept help.
Sometimes you need to tell your elderly parents that they can’t live alone anymore because you’re worried about their health and safety. How can you start an honest conversation with them? Click on the link to learn more. How To Tell an Elderly Parent That They Can’t Live Alone
Final Thoughts
Reaching retirement age doesn’t mean elderly people are ready to give up their sense of freedom. Unfortunately, many older people believe that moving into an assisted living facility or hiring a caregiver is equivalent to losing all control over their living situation.
Some older people may also prefer to live alone to maintain relationships with neighbors and local community members. Alternatively, joining a new community and interacting with caregivers can be overwhelming.
It’s crucial to address these concerns when discussing the possibility of moving into assisted living or hiring caregivers.
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