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As our parents grow older, we may find them going through many behavioral changes. These can be as simple as being grumpy or impatient. Sometimes, the changes can be concerning and hard to understand, such as when they tell us made-up stories.
Your elderly parent might make up stories due to an underlying mental illness, declining memory, or a need for attention. It will depend, but it’s usually normal for elderly people to fabricate stories due to confusion and declining cognitive state.
In the rest of the article, I’ll talk more about why your elderly parent is making up stories. I’ll also discuss how you can deal with the issue.
Most Common Reasons Why Your Elderly Parent Makes Up Stories
When elderly parents make up stories, they don’t necessarily want to lie or put anyone in a bad light. Professionals termed this condition “confabulation.” Here, the person’s brain creates false memories to fill in the things they don’t remember.
Here’s a video that you can refer to if you want a deeper explanation:
There are several possible reasons why your elderly parent is constantly making up stories. However, it can be difficult to figure out the exact cause unless you take the time to monitor their behavior and body language.
Let’s look at some of the reasons why this might happen.
Dementia and Other Mental Illnesses Can Cause Your Parent To Confabulate
Mental illnesses are some of the first things that come to mind when our elderly parents start to behave unusually. Hearing them tell made-up stories is no exception.
Dementia and Alzheimer’s are two of the most common issues resulting in confabulation. Since the said conditions damage the brain cells, the patient’s memory is usually the most affected.
Studies have concluded that confabulation can also occur in patients who previously suffered brain damage and other traumatic brain injuries.
The thing about confabulation and mental illnesses is that the former usually comes off as a sign that something is wrong. Confabulation does not qualify as a mental condition but rather as an indicator of an underlying problem.
That said, if you notice that your parent’s confabulation is becoming uncontrollable and concerning, the best course of action is to opt for a psychological diagnosis.
Your Parent May Be Looking for Attention
Let’s face it – as adults, we have our own lives. We have our careers and families to care for, so it’s more than understandable if we can’t spend as much time with our parents. Even so, we can’t stop our parents from wanting to be with us once in a while. They may start to feel neglected and tell made-up stories to get our attention.
If you think this is the case, you should seriously consider allotting a day or at least a few hours for parent-child bonding time.
Introducing your parents to new hobbies and social circles may also help. Gardening is especially popular among the elderly, so look into it to see if they’re interested. You might also consider local book clubs, cooking clubs, or community center classes.
If all of the above solutions aren’t possible, you can look into establishments offering assisted living for the elderly or hire a trusty caregiver. Either way, your parent will have a companion who can care for them and their needs.
If you feel guilty about leaving your parent in another person’s care, check out this video that will help provide another perspective:
Your Parent’s Cognitive Abilities Are Declining With Age
An older person can confabulate even without an underlying mental health issue, brain damage, or attention-seeking needs. According to Counseling Today, people tend to unintentionally make up stories when they get mentally confused due to stress, hypnosis, impulsiveness, and likes.
Once you confirm this is the root cause, don’t forget to safeguard both your parent and the area they live.
Equip them with assistance tools like a walker, night lights, smoke alarms, and other items that might make life easier and reduce stress. I recommend starting with the Medical King Bed Assist Rail (available on Amazon.com), especially if your mother or father finds it hard to get up. It’s very sturdy with its adjustable height and built-in floor support. Moreover, its rail is slip-resistant, further ensuring your parent’s safety.
How To Respond When Your Parent Tells You Made-Up Stories
It’s frustrating to hear made-up stories. This is most especially when it comes to repetitive ones or those that put you or others in a tight spot. Negative reactions will only make things worse, which makes things much harder.
So, what is the best way to respond when your elderly parent makes up stories? How should you react to keep the situation light? Below are some tips:
Validate Your Parent’s Stories and Emotions
One of the most important things to remember when dealing with a confabulating parent is to not waste your energy on forcefully correcting them. Don’t try to straighten their stories or push the facts into their minds. Doing so will cause more stress to both of you.
Instead, refer to validation therapy. Focus on making your parent feel heard. Show empathy and acceptance in your reactions, no matter how absurd their stories are. Recognize their realities as your own. In this way, both of you will be satisfied with the conversation.
Of course, there are a few exceptions to this suggestion. If your parent is talking about possible mistreatment by another person, it will never be wrong to verify the stories to ensure their safety.
If No Mental Illness Is Involved, Correct Your Parent Gently
If you’re 100% sure that your parent isn’t going through any mental illness, and their made-up stories are hurting you, themselves, or someone else, then you should consider gently correcting them. This is especially true if you feel they only do the act to seek attention. Doing so will help you avoid misunderstandings in general.
Before discussing the issue with your parent, I recommend reading my guide on the things you shouldn’t say to your elderly parents. Reading the guide will help you be more respectful and understanding of your parent’s emotions. 10 Things Not To Say to Aging Parents
Conclusion
Elderly parents can make up stories because of different reasons. The most common ones involve mental illnesses like dementia and Alzheimer’s. However, you should remember that each case is different from the others. Some elderlies aren’t dealing with an actual mental health issue but instead feel neglected.
Make sure to monitor your parent to know the issue at hand. Get professional help, and help them settle into an assisted living system if you think it will make things easier. You should still consider your parent’s needs and preferences before taking any measures.
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