How To Persuade Someone With Dementia To Wash

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Caring for a person or senior living with dementia can be a struggle, especially when they start showing resistance to bathing. Dementia is not exactly a disease; it only means the patient can’t think or remember easily. As a result, you will need unique persuasive tactics to get them to do some activities like bathing.

The best way to persuade someone with dementia to wash is to let them do it themselves. It’s okay to supervise the patient closely, but bathing themselves gives them a sense of authority and independence. Prepare ahead of their bath time, and be ready to render assistance and prevent falls.

In this guide, I’ll explain the best tricks and tips you can use to persuade someone with dementia to wash regularly.

1. Create a Cordial Relationship and Observe

The reaction you’ll get from a dementia patient when you ask them to take a bath depends on who you are to them. You don’t want to be someone who’s there only when it’s time to wash. You need to have that cordial relationship with the patient, and the remainder of the job is simple.

Dementia patients differ in terms of the intensity and source of the condition. The reason why a dementia patient refuses to wash is always different, and you must figure it out before persuading them.

Some of the common reasons dementia patients shy away from bathing include the following:

Depression. Sometimes, we may mistake a depressed loved one for a dementia patient. When you notice any loss of interest in usual activities like bathing, they may have a lot going through their mind. It’s always better to head to a doctor to give accurate information about the condition.
Privacy. Removing clothes and bathing in someone’s presence would not be comfortable for the patient.

Confusion and forgetfulness. As mentioned, dementia affects the ability to speak, remember, or make rational decisions. The patient may not understand why they need to wash or assume they have already taken their baths.
Water phobia. If a dementia patient has been bathing using a bathtub, changing to a shower head can trigger a scary reaction. More so, flashes of terrible water incidents can reduce bathing intent.
Weakness. As a young adult, when you don’t feel well, you don’t feel up even for a quick shower. This issue can be even more prevalent in seniors suffering from dementia. If they are weak, they usually don’t even think of bathing.

Independence. Everyone, both young and old, likes a little bit of control. Therefore, a caregiver handling all parts of bathing for a dementia patient will only make them uninterested in bathing.
Past bathroom incidents. Falls in the bathroom can be brutal, and the flashbacks aren’t good. These memories will deter a dementia patient from bathing.

It would help if you were close to the patient to understand their main reason for rejecting a bath. Some of the steps you can take are:

Always be there to engage in their conversations.
Understand their bathing preferences and stick to them.
Make them feel it’s a collective activity. Speak about bathing like teamwork.

Play games with them at intervals.
Give them some space.
Do not argue with the dementia patient. Keep letting them see reasons to wash.

Create fun activities they would like, then attach the bathing to it. For instance, if they love playing cards, you can say, “we have to wash so we can play cards.”
Observe if they have pains in any body part or are in good health.

To persuade your elderly parents, start a kind conversation and respectfully tell them they smell. Check out my complete guide to learn how to do it. How to Respectfully Tell Your Elderly Parents They Smell

2. Prepare Before You Start Persuasion

Persuading someone with dementia to wash is not always easy, and they can easily change their minds on the slightest excuse. An unprepared bathing area is a good excuse not to go through the trouble of washing at all.

The idea is to make the bathroom as comfortable and enticing as possible so they can wash easily. Some of the steps you’ll need to take the process a seamless one include:

Make the bathroom warm. The first thing you should bother about is making the bathroom warm. The ability to feel cold quickly increases as age increases, causing a loss of interest in bathing. However, heating the bathroom and its surrounding environment gives it the necessary warmth to make them comfortable.

Feel surfaces to make sure they’re warm. As part of ensuring coziness, check whether the surfaces are warm. Look around the bathroom and check the surfaces the patients are more likely to touch for support and ensure they’re at the right temperature.
Get different towels. Towels help promote privacy. You will need a large towel to cover most parts of the body and other smaller towels to clean the exposed parts of the body.
Set the preferred water temperature. From your cordial relationship and experience with the senior, you should have an idea of their desired water temperature. Ensure you set the water temperature and monitor that it doesn’t change during the bathing process.

Keep all necessary supplies close. It helps to keep the soap, shampoo, and other supplies close by.
Try a shower chair. Standing and holding grab bars for support may not be easy for an older adult. A chair specifically for bathroom use will make them feel more comfortable. I recommend the Drive Medical RTL12202KDR Bathroom Bench (available on Amazon.com). This chair features drains on the seat and suction at the bottom to reduce slipping and provide stability. Chairs are available even for narrow tubes. I’ve listed the best shower chairs for narrow tubes in another guide. 5 Best Shower Chairs for Narrow Tubs (Buyer’s Guide)
Prepare for after bathing. Help the person with dementia choose the next outfit they will wear immediately after their bath. If they refuse to wear that outfit, do not hesitate to change it.

You can consider playing some soothing music as part of the preparation process before persuading them.

3. Remove Clothes Strategically

Removing clothes for a dementia patient for a bath can be a tedious task. You’re about to remove something private for a long while; hence, they may feel embarrassed. You need to be strategic about this process.

Some of the strategies you can try include:

Help them undress early in the morning. When a dementia patient wakes in the morning, they can be active and happy, allowing them to remove their clothes easily.
Stay in a visible position. Dementia affects how one can interpret what one sees at every point. Therefore, you want to ensure the dementia patient sees you and understands what you’re trying to do. Otherwise, they may get violent.
Remove the clothes while changing their sheets. The period when you change the sheets of a dementia patient is perfect for removing clothes and persuading them to bathe. You can use changing into new clothes as a reward for having a bath.

The idea is to make them comfortable while persuading them to have their bath. If you notice any aggression while trying to remove their clothes, you should let go and try a different approach.

4. Install Helpful Safety Equipment in the Bathroom

Safety is crucial when taking care of someone with dementia. Any terrible occurrence can affect the current condition of the dementia patient, worsening it. For instance, if someone with dementia falls and hits their head in a bathroom, it will be harder to make them have a bath later.

Safety in the bathroom while caring for someone with dementia is important for both you and the patient. Some great safety tips to keep in mind include:

Ensure the bathroom is as dry as possible.
Install good lights.
Wear non-slip slippers.

Prepare ahead.
Get safety equipment
Remove all soap and supplies from the bathroom after use.

On no condition should you leave the person with dementia alone.

Some of the safety equipment you can install in the bathroom include:

Anti-slip bath rug. This mat is critical in the surroundings of the bathroom and inside the bathtub to ensure zero slips. The Gorilla Grip Patented Shower and Bath Mat (available on Amazon.com) is a product I recommend you buy. This mat has drains and suction cups installed in its large size, ensuring maximum grip and dryness from the rugs.

Grab bars. Grab bars come in different types to support and prevent falls for you and the person with dementia. You can check out Amazon Basics Bathroom Handicap Safety Grab Bar (available on Amazon.com). This grab bar can conveniently carry up to 500lbs (226 kg), which means you and the person with dementia can rest on it without fear. Read my guide to learn how to install grab bars in the bathroom. How to Install a Grab Bar in a Marble Shower
Buy a hand shower. Holding the shower head can bring about more control for someone with dementia. A good handheld shower you can try is the DAKINGS 6 Modes High Flow Handheld Shower Head (available on Amazon). This product boasts six different shower settings that you can change to suit the patient.

5. Let Them Be in Charge

You’ve been bathing yourself from the moment you were little, so it will be very weird to have someone wash you (or assist you through the process) once you reach old age. That is why you need to allow the person with dementia to have complete control of their bath time.

As mentioned, prepare everything they need and keep it close to them. Use multipurpose soaps as much as possible. These soap types will reduce the chances of confusion while taking a bath.

One of the signs of dementia is memory loss, but most dementia patients will still remember the bathing procedure. Bathing is a daily activity, so it has become a subconscious act like walking.

However, you may need to help with the whole bathing process, depending on the intensity of dementia. However, you still need to take strategic steps to bathe someone with dementia. Some tactics you might find helpful include:

Hand them a sponge. Even when the person with dementia does nothing with the sponge, they still want to feel in control. Hence, handing them a sponge helps make them feel more independent.
Touch their heads last and strategically. According to researchers, your forehead will feel pain faster than most body parts. Moreover, remember that dementia causes a lack of understanding, so they may not know why you must wash their face. Therefore, you need to ask for permission before using a sponge on any part of the head.
Allow them to visualize your every move. Dementia affects thinking processes, and patients may act impulsively since they don’t understand what’s going on. Therefore, it is better to show them what you want to do and ask permission if they can speak. For instance, you can use the wash soap on your head first to show what you’re about to do.

6. Create a Flexible Bathing Routine

Sticking to a routine for bathing someone with dementia is a good strategy. However, in some cases, you may need to be flexible with your routine.

You may need to keep a close eye on the person to know when they are most happy and likely to grant any request. Target these times and ask them to wash at such moments.

Another strategy that will work is reducing the specific bathing times. You can have them enter a bathroom only thrice weekly, and the remaining bathing process will occur elsewhere with little to no water use.

7. Give Compliments and Be Accountable

After the tedious task of getting them to have their bath successfully, you need to give them accolades. Try to make them happy and smile at all costs. Some tips you can try include;

Tell them how good they look.
Take pictures of them in their outfit

Have other people compliment their outfits.

You should also report to the doctor and family the progress or regression of the dementia patient with bathing.

Final Thoughts

There you have it! I hope the tips I shared in this guide will help you succeed in your efforts of persuading someone with dementia to wash. Make sure to always let them see what you’re doing before you take action.

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