9 Ways to Show Respect for Elderly Parents

There is always a desire to reciprocate all the love and sacrifice your parents have given through the years. Treating them with respect and making them feel honored is one of the best ways to achieve this. But how can you show respect to your elderly as an adult child?

One way of showing respect to your parents is to communicate with them openly and mindfully. Communication helps your parents open up and reduce the stress and anxiety that comes with aging. When communicating, you should practice empathy, patience, and compassion to create a safe place for them.

1. Communicate Openly But Mindfully

Open lines of communication with the elderly come with many mental and psychological benefits. According to Susan Pinker, a psychologist, having open communication with the elderly can reduce stress, depression, and anxiety and improve physical health.

To avoid constant friction, you'll need to create a strategy of connecting with your parents. When having conversations, get rid of all distractions such as TV and mobile phones to give them your undivided attention.

Above all, practice empathy, patience, and compassion. Give your elderly parents plenty of time to listen, process, and respond to you.

• Practice active listening: Use body cues such as eye contact, angling your body towards them, and rubbing their hands or shoulders to comfort them.
• Speak clearly: Use simple language and speak audibly to help your elderly process your information fast.
• Refrain from giving advice: Unless your elderly parents have requested your advice, leave the role to an outside neutral party.

Starting a conversation with elderly parents might be challenging. Read my guide to learn how to do it.

2. Allow Them To Live Independently

For seniors, independence and autonomy are twofold. Research involving 450 elderly parents from 24 countries shows that the freedom to decide for themselves would make seniors feel respected.

• It aids with memory skills: Mental activity boosts blood flow, which helps preserve memory.
• It gives them a feeling of control: Being able to make daily choices gives elders a sense of purpose and self-worth.
• It helps them to maintain balance: Independence enables them to balance rest, interactions, and other activities.

If you think your elderly parents can't live alone anymore, you should talk to them honestly and respectfully.

3. Celebrate Their Milestone and Achievements

Recognizing all the little and big things your seniors have achieved through the years can make their retirement more fulfilling.

• It provides them a sense of belonging: Celebrating special occasions can give them a sense of belonging, love, safety, and support.
• It makes them happy and fulfilled: According to a Harvard study, the happiest seniors are those with strong social connections.
• It gives them something to anticipate: Looking forward to family events improves mood and gives a sense of purpose.
• It gives them a chance to reflect: Celebrating occasions recreates old memories that help maintain a sense of identity.

4. Spend Quality Time With Them

The most invaluable way of showing your parents respect is spending quality time with them. Your presence is incomparable to any expensive gift.

• Cooking meals: The kitchen triggers the sense of smell linked to memories, encouraging meaningful conversations.
• Going through photo albums: Family photos give many seniors nostalgia and familiarity.
• Going for a nature walk: Research shows seniors who spend more time outdoors have increased mental and physical activity.
• Teach them to use new technology: Keeping them updated can help them use devices to socialize and call for help.

5. Acknowledge Their Presence

Acknowledging your parents shows you value and honor them. It makes them feel respected, seen, heard, and understood.

• Complementing them: Thoughtful complementing improves self-esteem and self-confidence.
• Saying thank you: Whenever your elderly do something kind, thank them.
• Listening to them: Giving them a chance to speak reminds them of the legacy they hold in your life.
• Recognizing their emotions: Acknowledging how situations make them feel keeps them connected.

6. Respect Their Personal Space

Getting old does not make the personal bubble disappear. The elderly need space and privacy to reflect, rest, and recharge.

• Give them a private room: Unless constant care is necessary, your seniors deserve their own space.
• Knock before entering: Never storm into your elderly parent's room without knocking.
• Allow them to finish tasks at their pace: Jumping in to help without permission can be disrespectful.
• Respect their decisions and wishes: Knowing your place and respecting their choices is crucial.

7. Show Appreciation for Their Advice

Sociology research from the University of Toronto shows that seniors who advise more people find their life more meaningful.

• Provide relevant background information and specific details.
• Be open-minded about what your senior offers.
• Ask questions to help you engage and get into the details of their perception.
• Thank them for their time and words of wisdom.

8. Invest in Caregiving Services

The accumulation of molecular and cellular damage with age causes gradual mental and physical decline. Common conditions include diabetes, depression and dementia, hearing loss, osteoarthritis, and heart diseases.

Your physical and financial support would go a long way. You can show support by catering for doctor and nursing care, physical therapy, nutrition care, and homemaker care.

9. Be the Bigger Person in Case of Arguments

If you're the primary caregiver, arguments and disagreements will surface along the way. An argumentative environment is toxic and might hinder you from dispensing quality care.

• Apply reflexive listening: Repeat what your senior says and offer an additional resolution to de-escalate arguments.
• Take a neutral stand on sensitive issues: Choose an unbiased approach when talking your seniors into making changes.
• Diffuse with distractions: When you notice a potential argument, pivot to calming activities.

About Chip Mitchell

Chip Mitchell is the founder of Growing Gray USA. With over a decade of experience owning a home care company, he has helped hundreds of families navigate the complexities of caring for aging parents.