What To Do When an Elderly Parent Can't Get Out of Bed

PawPaw's father Thurman had Parkinson's Disease — the same disease PawPaw carries now. When Thurman got stuck — and Parkinson's freezing means you get stuck, the body simply stops initiating movement — his wife Nadine would hold out a stick for him to grab, brace herself, and pull. It worked in the sense that he got up. When a visiting nurse saw this system in operation, she was genuinely frightened.

I think about Thurman and Nadine when families describe helping elderly parents out of bed. There are a lot of Nadines in home caregiving — people doing whatever works because they didn't know there was a better way. This article is about the better way.

First — can't or won't

The approach is completely different depending on the answer. A parent who physically cannot get out of bed needs equipment, physical therapy, and possibly medical evaluation. A parent who won't get out of bed — because of depression, grief, or loss of purpose — needs a different response entirely. Don't skip this assessment step.

The equipment solutions

Bed rail at the exit side

A sturdy half rail — the kind that slides between mattress and box spring — gives a person something firm to push against as they swing their legs over and stand. This is what Thurman's stick was actually trying to be. A proper bed rail rated for 300+ lbs, positioned correctly, is Nadine's stick done safely. The Stander EZ Adjust Bed Rail is the most practical home option and requires no installation.

Bed trapeze bar

A trapeze bar suspended above the center of the bed gives a person something to pull against to shift from lying to sitting. For someone with significant core weakness but upper body strength, this is often the difference between needing a caregiver for every transfer and managing independently. Overhead grab bars rated at 350 lbs are available for under $100.

Adjustable bed

An electric adjustable base changes the entire physics of getting up. Instead of pushing from flat, the person raises the head of the bed electrically — arriving at a partially seated position before their legs go over the side. For someone with Parkinson's or significant weakness, this can make an unassisted transfer possible where it wasn't before.

Bed height

The bed should be 20 to 23 inches from floor to mattress — roughly knee height when standing. A bed that's too low requires pushing up from a deep squat, which demands leg strength many elderly people don't have. Bed risers ($20-40) can fix this in fifteen minutes.

For Parkinson's specifically

Parkinson's freezing responds to specific techniques: taking medications first and waiting for them to take effect before attempting to get up; doing warm-up movements while still in bed; using an auditory or visual cue to trigger movement — counting to three, a piece of tape on the floor to step over, a rhythm to follow. These are taught in Parkinson's-specific physical therapy and are more effective than brute-force assistance.

Safe assist technique

If you are physically helping a parent out of bed, protect your own back. Don't lean over the bed and pull from a bent position. Stand close to the bed, feet shoulder-width apart, assist from the side by supporting the shoulder and hip as they rotate from lying to sitting. Never lift from the arms or hands alone. If the transfer is regularly difficult, consult a physical therapist for proper technique. Back injuries are the most common caregiver injury and many are preventable.

Chip Mitchell spent over 10 years owning and operating a home care company in Northwest Georgia. He currently cares for his father-in-law, PawPaw, who has lived with Parkinson's Disease for 20 years.

About Chip Mitchell

Chip Mitchell is the founder of Growing Gray USA. With over a decade of experience owning a home care company, he has helped hundreds of families navigate the complexities of caring for aging parents.